I'm really beginning to hate the expectation that I be self-deprecating regarding my gender

YesAmAThrowaway · 2021-03-07T08:59:50+00:00

As soon as you are made to feel sorry for the way you are born, you draw the line. As a German I can attest to the detrimental nature of some mentalities going around right now, concerning bogus like "whiteness" that nobody outside of the US and UK has even heard of.

Robble93 · 2021-03-07T10:05:17+00:00

When you look at the history of the whole world, you realise that people were on average more terrible than they are now. The reason why people assume there is a pandemic of sexism and racism going on, is because the definition of those words have become inflated. Because people have generally become far less sexist and racist in the last decades, any racist or sexist act won't go unnoticed anymore. This is a good thing. But what I see happening mostly in the USA, is that the idea of racism is racialized. And sexism is genderized. Really nothing stops a non-white person from having racist ideas. In fact, people all over the world are genetically and psychologically far too similar to have differences in tribalist tendencies. And women can be sexist too. It's strange to see blatant sexism and racism towards white men to be so normalised in the pursuit of ending all sexism and racism. It's as if people almost get it, but simply can't step away from their tribal tendencies that underlie every illogical racist and sexist thought.

PricklyGoober · 2021-03-07T09:29:25+00:00

Dude you dont have to feel bad about who you are born as. Things that we can’t control (race, gender, sexual preferences), anyone who judges you based on that is the one who has the problem, not you.

TobiasWidower · 2021-03-07T10:09:11+00:00

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feltentragus · 2021-03-07T12:28:22+00:00

When someone makes a misandrist remark under the cover of "joking" is when you borrow from feminist strategy. You give them the Great Stone Face and say "That's not funny."

Either they backpedal (in which case you've just educated them to behave better) or they argue with you (in which case you're being an advocate for male issues) or they tell you to stop being a "crybaby" (etc.) in which case you explain to them about the empathy gap and ask them why they're content to be such a sexist little shit.

functious · 2021-03-07T16:52:20+00:00

So I'm part of the left. And I feel like once you are a part of the left you routinely start running into humor being directed towards the majority.

This is precisely the problem that alienates everyone from the modern left, they seem to actively resent and despise the majority of the population, either for not belonging to the right identity group or holding "problematic" beliefs. It's pretty impossible to build a working-class movement when you act so contemptuously towards the majority of people.

Oncefa2 · 2021-03-07T10:31:17+00:00

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AnxiousMammoth3 · 2021-03-07T15:21:03+00:00

Yea, it's frustrating. Don't give into it, even though it's easy to get swept up in the mob mentality. I feel pretty confident that history will look back on this era of hateful identity politics as a misstep.

The good news here is that while these attitudes pervade popular culture and politics, they're often easy to subvert in personal relationships. Modern feminists love to spread casual misandry, but they word it in a way that's just subtle enough to maintain plausible deniability, so that they can claim they're not actually being sexist.

If you ask them to explain what they mean in a way that seems genuinely curious, it forces them to either double down and be more explicitly sexist, or to play it off and back down. I find they'll often choose the latter, because they want to maintain that plausible deniability.

petrol_sexual · 2021-03-07T12:39:19+00:00

/r/menkampf for some memes on this topic.

matrixislife · 2021-03-07T17:12:15+00:00

I get that historically a lot of horrible people are white males.

Try to get away from this line of thought, it's not doing you any good.

Consider the divisions you've put up there, you've divided humanity into 4 categories, white male, non-white male, white non-male, and non-white non-male. Each of these groups have plenty of examples of people who have been horrible, no group is immune. And those who try to deflect that saying "oh but it's the fault of others" haven't read into the situation well enough. It's humans. There are plenty of assholes to go around in whatever group you might look at. Sure that includes us, it includes everyone.

Instead of always being down on white males remember that there's a ton, an absolute ton of good stuff that we've produced. Social and technological advances, political theories if that interests you, [where would socialists be without white males? Marx etc] Look at what we have done for other groups, social support systems, the NHS [if you're in the UK] etc. I'm absolutely NOT saying start flying white pride flags, but when others start having a go at white males instead of letting it get at you it's reasonable to feel sad for those doing this, they obviously don't know their history.

If friends are pressuring you to put yourself down because of your race/sex, then it's time to meet new friends. Anyone else doing it you can tell them to go to hell.

DevilishRogue · 2021-03-07T16:36:39+00:00

It's a point of hypocrisy within the left stemming from the view that punching up is somehow okay. Punching either needs to be equal or not at all for it to be egalitarian - providing protections to those who are punching up but not to others is discrimination. Too many on the left try to deny this because they don't care for the target of the punch when punching up occurs. Unlike them, you're a decent person for calling it what it is.

Long_Cut_7015 · 2021-03-08T10:53:53+00:00

I get that historically a lot of horrible people are white males.

What ? do you know that in the US 40% of slaves were owned by white women ? do you know that throughout history, queens were more likely to wage war than kings ?

The idea that (white)men are more horrible, and (white)women are perfect angels is false and sexist.

bison_breakfast · 2021-03-07T20:23:06+00:00

You really shouldn’t view your whiteness or maleness as oppressive or evil or something you should be self-deprecating about. It’s just a part of you, you never had any agency in so why talk about it positively or negatively.

Enzi42 · 2021-03-08T15:13:23+00:00

I was going to (and still might) say this as part of a post of my own but this seems to be the right sort of place to comment this observation.

One of the nastier symptoms of this expectation of being "sorry" for your gender is a sick masochistic contest among men in social justice/left leaning spheres, about who can take the most verbal and emotional abuse without "cracking".

I've encountered men who speak proudly of their wives or girlfriends saying horrendous things about their gender right to their faces. These abused men then talk about how easily they take it, because they know they're "one of the good day ones" or they are "not selfish enough to make it about them".

It's like an ironic mixture of macho posturing and brainwashing to be self hating all mixed into one. Has any else seen or encountered something like this? Does anyone have insights on how to break people out of this mindset?

JestyerAverageJoe · 2021-03-08T14:49:11+00:00

What, you don't think you should be ridiculed for your genitals and the color of your skin? Next you'll tell me you don't think children born today are guilty for what ancestors who died yesterday did. Clearly, to fight racism and sexism, we must embody gender and race fascism. /s

JestyerAverageJoe · 2021-03-08T14:51:33+00:00

I get that historically a lot of amazing people are white males.

FTFY.

Powerful-Building833 · 2021-03-09T00:16:26+00:00

The idea that white men are historically the worst people is so stupid. There were much more great white men than terrible ones or otherwise the western world would not be one of the most equal, free, democratic and humane societies of the world and of history.

2021-03-08T01:54:54+00:00

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Blutarg · 2021-03-08T23:58:46+00:00

Who expects that? Screw 'em.

GoodApollo1994 · 2021-03-09T09:44:07+00:00

We are supposed to have this perspective because we learn about western history the most and have some of the best records of what we did.

Title	I'm really beginning to hate the expectation that I be self-deprecating regarding my gender
Author	throwra_coolname209
Upvotes	123
Comments	29
Date	March 7, 2021 8:00 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/lzm55c/im_really_beginning_to_hate_the_expectation_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/im-really-beginning-to-hate-the-expectation-that-i.1191276 https://theredarchive.com/post/1191276

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