Why is fear a female coded emotion?

problem_redditor · 2021-09-24T03:48:31+00:00

I don't think fear is solely or even primarily dependent on one's size. I'm a short guy (about 5'6) with a very slender build. My weight is below 100 pounds. I'm not equipped for any physical altercation whatsoever, and yet seem to feel a lot less unsafe when out at night than do a lot of other people, including many larger than me.

I used to walk out at 3am because I like how quiet the city is then, and despite having some profoundly creepy encounters with people (literally once had a group of three people follow me and ask me questions like "What's in your bag?") it did not deter me.

If women do feel more unsafe than men despite women being less likely to be attacked and to experience the worst forms of victimisation such as homicide, I'd wager it's more to do with their on average higher risk aversion and neuroticism than simply that they're smaller and weaker.

As to the question of why you got derision whereas a woman in the same situation would have gotten empathy, I don't think I have to explain that. It's simply the empathy gap in action. Women can capitalise on vulnerability in ways men simply can't, and we are much more likely to expect men to endure fear, violence, etc without complaint especially if it is for the benefit of others. A woman who expresses fear is in need of help and protection, whereas a man who expresses fear is a man-baby, incapable of filling his social role.

SpanishM · 2021-09-24T03:13:11+00:00

For the last decades feminism has been teaching women that men are abusers, rapists and murderers, and that they should be scared. That's how they control people, because fear is the best manipulation tool. Men's fear is irrelevant, of course.

I'm sure there are evolutive factors too, but that's a very different story.

BloomingBrains · 2021-09-24T04:58:01+00:00

It's really quite illogical. I suppose that this kind of thinking has some merit to it if you're a caveperson existing before "equalizers" like guns. Men, being taller and stronger, would be more equipped to defend themselves. Although even then, that's dubious. A cavewoman could still easily kill a caveman by setting a snare, poisoning him, slitting his throat in his sleep, sneaking up and hitting him in the back of the head with a rock, etc. Meanwhile, an animal like a bear or saberoothed tiger could easily kill either one because the strength gap between them and a caveman is 10x size of the gap between the caveman and the cavewoman.

People don't realize how vulnerable the human body is. A 5'2 woman can hip toss a huge guy with a little aikido training, or get him into a state where she could easily shatter his arm with a little knowledge of leverage and momentum. Hell, I read a story about a woman that killed a man who was raping and choking her by simply unbalancing him enough to fall off the bed. He hit his head on the corner of nightstand, bled out, and died. Strength isn't everything. Your bones have the same strength whether you can benchpress 500 pounds or only 50.

So really it just comes down to people being illogical and not looking at the whole picture. That and intentional manipulation. Praise men for being muscular and tall, reward them with affection, and they won't want to downplay their "best asset" by admitting muscles aren't everything. They won't be able to admit they have valid reasons to be afraid. So then if girls grow up in that culture, and they see men acting as if they're unfraid, they'll think its a sex difference, which helps justify the belief that men exist as protector/providers.

EDIT: I think another interesting question would be: does it not follow that if "my strength = my safety", then "other's strength" = my danger? Which calls into question why sexual selection favors the men who are taller and stronger. After all, that is literally choosing the people who are most equipped to hurt you. Which makes me think its not really a question of perceived safety, its about the provider/protector role, as I stated above.

hottake_toothache · 2021-09-24T14:39:33+00:00

Because men are disposable, and disposable things are not supposed to fear things that might happen to them. A bad thing happening to a man does not trigger an emotional response in people, and so they expect it not to trigger a response in him, either.

Skirt_Douglas · 2021-09-24T14:45:51+00:00

It’s not that fear is a female coded emotion, but that feminism has started a mainstream trend of women monopolizing victimhood of any kind. Whatever women are victims of, men cannot also be victims of. Victimhood has become a zero sum competition.

TheLWMA · 2021-09-24T03:44:14+00:00

It's a bit of an oversimplification to say that "fear" is considered a female emotion.

CyclopeWarrior · 2021-09-24T13:20:43+00:00

The way i see it, the fact you are even concerned is good, and most likely why you will not have many troubles in the future. I don't think men are less likely to be in danger, but i do think we know perfectly well if something happens we could lose our lives for some pocket change, so we are more careful, asses dangers realistically, and overall take that logics of ours to consider things that the more privileged sex doesn't usually have to worry about.

We understand the streets aren't safe and you have to plan your life around that fact, while the feminist claim is that streets should be safe enough to pass out drunk on street corners and nothing should happen to you.

McGauth925 · 2021-11-12T22:10:01+00:00

Men are valued for courage. Women, not so much. So, men who show fear are much more likely to be disapproved of by both men and women, than women are.

Nope, don't have a citation. But, living with other people tells me this is true. Thus, while everybody feels fear, men are highly encouraged to act as though they don't.

Title	Why is fear a female coded emotion?
Author	throwra_coolname209
Upvotes	104
Comments	22
Date	September 24, 2021 1:08 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/pu93k7/why_is_fear_a_female_coded_emotion/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/why-is-fear-a-female-coded-emotion.1074670 https://theredarchive.com/post/1074670

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