This is an issue that seems - to me, at least - to have such a painfully simple solution that I'm genuinely surprised it's been kind of suppressed lately when I look for it.

Basically, I've met women who feel like men are lying when they say that they don't know a rapist, when most men will say they know at least one woman who has been raped or sexually assaulted. This usually turns into a big thing about social norms and the morality of men and all that, which I won't get into.

But the thing is, I don't think men are lying when they say these things. Certainly no one in my friend group that I'm aware of has done something so egregious. Most of them would definitely try to distance themselves if credible information came up about such an event.

The answer seems... trivial: most men probably don't know an abuser. Our social circle of other men is highly limited - mainly to those we work with or share hobbies and interests with. We are not exposed to the general population.

Women, on the other hand, are. They can go on a dating app and be faced with anyone humanity can muster, regardless of their moral compass. They can go outside and be approached by a total stranger. Humans, for the mostpart, seem to self-select those of the same sex that appear in our social spheres.

As an example of the reverse - I don't know abusive women in my personal life, or women who know abusive women - but I know I can find tons of examples of abusive women on dating apps. The barrier of encountering someone is changed there - I'd no longer be meeting the women that are responsible and sane enough to meet near a corporate environment, instead it's opening the doors to anyone.

I would love to hear others thoughts about why this disparity seems to occur