One of the most covered songs of the 60's was "If I were a carpe nter" by Tim Hardin. The lyrics appeal to a certain existential fear held by men throughout history.

If I were a carpenter

And you were a lady,

Would you marry me anyway?

Would you have my baby?

The singer posits himself as a well to do man of high social status asking his wife if she would be with him if he were a member of the working class and her of higher status. He speaks to the eternal fear of hypergamy. Even being successful, he has to doubt if he is lived for who he is as a person or for his money and status.

If a tinker were my trade

Would you still find me,

Carryin' the pots I made,

Followin' behind me?

Save my love through loneliness,

Save my love for sorrow,

I'm given you my onliness,

Come give your tomorrow.

His plea to his wife is that she doesn't leave him if things go South. As deep as their love is, he can not be sure it will endure hardship and losing his status.

If I worked my hands in wood,

Would you still love me?

Answer me babe, "Yes I would,

I'll put you above me."

Joan Baez's version of the song misses the meaning of the lyrics by inverting the perspective. If he is a carpenter and she a lady, and she is the singer, this line changes from being about respecting his dedication to holding the social status heirarchy as binding.

If I were a miller

At a mill wheel grinding,

Would you miss your color box,

And your soft shoe shining?

If I were a carpenter

And you were a lady,

Would you marry me anyway?

Would you have my baby?

I've had hypergamy on my mind lately and seem to keep running into stuff about it by coincidence, and honestly it's just something that's very depressing. My perspective as someone who actually prefers a more egalitarian world to a tradcon one, is that you still need to understand this concept and be able to talk about it publicly if we ever want to have an effect on it. Feminism encourages this instinct in women while also encouraging women earning higher incomes, which is an absolute nightmare. If women are to compete with men in the workplace and not have us end up with a lonely, disjointed society the hypergamy issue needs to be accepted and challenged head on. Otherwise tradcon life seems like the only option for creating successful gender relations. But even then, hypergamy is a vicious thing to deal with for men, and this song perfectly encapsulates that. It's something I grapple with. The thought in the back of your mind, that if you're ever good enough, it's probably more for your status and financial success than for you. That's painful. Even if you started off unsuccessful and alone, and then became wealthy and suddenly had suitors... It might feel like a bit of a shallow victory.