(Possible TW)

I sat down to have dinner and the fire alarm went off, because I accidentally burnt some toast. My dad came out of his room and started yelling at me at the top of his lungs, calling me an idiot, telling me I could’ve burnt the house down, how could I be so stupid. It really wasn’t that serious - our alarm is super sensitive. I apologised calmly multiple times and he just kept yelling until mum came into the kitchen and I burst into tears and started shaking. I can’t stand being shouted at, it makes me extremely uncomfortable and anxious. This isn’t the first time this has happened. He frequently yells at me for any mistake that I make, no matter how small. I usually try my best to ignore it and stay calm, but I have had a similar breakdown to the one today when he yelled at me another time. He is well aware It is a trigger for me. He only apologised after I started crying, and tried to downplay it as ‘oh you were wearing earphones, it wasn’t that loud’. He also frequently yells at my mother, but she justifies it and is a huge pickme who would never, ever leave my dad no matter how he treats her or their children. I guess I just needed to type this out because I feel so fucking alone right now. And FDS is the only safe space where I feel understood. It is so depressing having a mother who married a monster and is in complete denial. I am planning to move out mid next year after I begin full time work, but how do I handle my abusive father for now because I am losing my sanity in this house