How do I express my need for sexual pleasure in my relationship?

SunshineSundress · 2021-09-06T22:51:36+00:00

If you’ve tried telling him to adjust his strategy and he hasn’t, maybe try showing it/encouraging it in the moment. That is, when he DOES do what you want him to do, be very vocal: both verbally and ahem, not so verbally. React with your entire body and show him and tell him how much you like it when he does [insert thing that you need to orgasm here].

I’d even suggest you exaggerate a little bit: not so much that you’re faking orgasms and letting him think that he’s a sex god with amazing technique when he hasn’t quite figured it out yet, but just a little 1) to encourage him to want to keep on trying and to give him the confidence that what he’s doing is slowly working and 2) to get out of your own head and to be truly sensual (as in the gratification of the senses and the physical) and in the moment with him so that your exaggerations gradually become very authentic.

And if he DOESN’T do the thing you need to orgasm, IMO telling him in a nonsexual, regular conversation and talking about the specific time it takes for you can sometimes feel a little bit clinical and serious and cause undue pressure on both of you. Have you tried telling him about it in the heat of the moment? Look at him with your sultry bedroom eyes, and as things are getting hot and heavy, tell him just how badly you want him to do _______ to you. It should be as though you just can’t take it anymore and would do just about anything to make this happen. That kind of raw, vulnerable, feminine passion is the stuff that makes men weak in the knees and aim to please.

You also mentioned that he doesn’t spend enough time focusing on your orgasm. After implementing all of those things I said above, I find that telling him some kind of variation of “Don’t stop!” (depending on how much of a domme/sub you are and whatever kinks you guys share) will most likely keep him going.

I hesitate to go into full detail on a public forum 😅 but hopefully you get the gist!

kalarock13 · 2021-09-06T21:49:01+00:00

How well are you communicating? If you told him that you need more time and a specific technique and he says he wants for you to orgasm, but doesn’t put in much effort, I would really question the “growth” in your relationship. The last sentence is very telling, you already told him and he doesn’t seem to care about hurting your feelings or leaving you unsatisfied. You can’t change someone who is selfish or a lazy lover.

Anonymous_fiend · 2021-09-06T22:17:42+00:00

Would he be into trying toys out? That could be a fun way to bring up the bedroom life. Exploring things together often bring couples closer. You or him can use a clit vibrator during sex. Let him know a lot of women can't orgasm from just penetration so toys like this will help you enjoy it more. Also suction clit one are the best imo. There are cock rings that also stimulate you. You should be able to be open and communicate with your partner about intimacy issues. Having them so early from him not trying is not good. He may not remember that you want clit focus during sex if he's too caught up in the moment. Do you verbalize to him during sex that it feels good?

Rvanderdrift · 2021-09-07T04:28:04+00:00

Don’t worry about hurting his feelings. When he learns how to make you cum, he will feel like he has a new super power and will be grateful for the effort you made to get through to him.

MuttonDressedAsGoose · 2021-09-07T16:13:25+00:00

You don't have to let him put his dick inside you just because he's ready. Just decide that he can't until you've orgasmed. Then when he makes a move to roll on top or whatever, stop him and say "not yet... I want more of that thing you were just doing."

immacool332 · 2021-09-06T22:16:30+00:00

Does he know you're not cumming? This is the first step, to let him know without it seeming like a demand. But the conversation can only begin when he knows and you see what his response is.

Title	How do I express my need for sexual pleasure in my relationship?
Author	faithfulfemme
Upvotes	17
Comments	14
Date	September 6, 2021 9:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/pj8z3o/how_do_i_express_my_need_for_sexual_pleasure_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-express-my-need-for-sexual-pleasure-in-my.1067682 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067682

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