How do I help my friend? She calls and texts daily about her new man.. I told her he is using her and she thinks I’m jaded and bitter- so I have to avoid her now

daisyinflux · 2020-12-07T03:52:12+00:00

I don’t find it effective when I tell other people to do some thing with their lives, unless they are directly asking me for that.

I try to be a little bit more creative in my communication by asking really pointed questions that don’t necessarily have a predetermined answer.

I won’t say something like, “don’t you think you need to be treated better than he’s treating you?” But I might ask something like, “does it bother you that he’s still on tinder?” or “do you enjoy paying for trips?”/“ what do you enjoy about paying for trips?” or “how important is it to you that you can take pictures with your boyfriend?”

What I want for the people that I love is that they start thinking about and reflecting on their situations in life. This journey of theirs belongs to them and not me. There may be reasons why they are running up against certain walls in their lives, something need to experience so that they can grow and get to the next level. I’ve been in a lot of situations in my past that people didn’t approve of, and it only made me more steadfast in holding onto those situations thinking “no one understood”.

The truth is that most of us understand what it’s like to be a woman abandoning herself in someway for a man. You can share those stories with her. You can help her think about her situation, and you can empower her to listen to her inner voice. You can remind her that she’s a queen and that everything she wants in the world can be hers. Your affect on her will be much greater if you allow her to be herself and where she’s at right now.

And if it ever gets too much for you and you don’t wanna be around it, you have every right to disconnect from her completely. I wish every woman could get to FDS... but we just have to be here to accept them when they finally arrive.

oscine23 · 2020-12-07T07:43:46+00:00

My friend was dating a guy who produces porn. He lives with the mother of his children but they're not a couple, apparently. When I tried to school her she said I was being negative. Guess who's gonna call me crying any day now? Ugh

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