The Dicarlo Escalation Ladder is an essential resource in the pick up community (or at least it was years ago when I first read it, not sure if people have moved on lol) and I thought it would be fun to discuss the central ideas and how they can apply to girl game! After I give an overview to the strategy, I also talk about other female seduction strategies not covered in the ladder. Please share your own in the comments :)

The ladder provides a step by step guide for men to escalate physically with a woman, in amazing detail. When properly executed, a woman would feel security and thrill in the right ratio and be very open to sex once the time comes. Understanding these methods will enhance your seduction and also allow you to be more receptive to your man. While the original resource and my post may seem a bit clinical regarding seduction, in practice it'll feel really natural, this is all about breaking down what works.

You can read the entire document here, it is 26 pages but a quick read. I'm going to list all thoughts related to girl game here so you don't have to read the whole thing but if you want to get more of the male perspective I highly recommend.

Step 0: Pre Approach

Before you begin physical escalation, you're instructed to analyse the environment. As women we're not always in the role of initiator, so when we do want to seduce, it pays to be aware of what's going on. If you're out at a bar or other public space, he gives great advice on page 4 (but do consider letting them come to you!). If you're already in a relationship, you could take a moment to read his body language before approaching. You could also come up with a general course of events in your mind earlier in the day e.g. if you're going out to dinner and want to end the night in a special way. Consider the logistics involved with your seduction, just so there's no awkward moments or interruptions!

I also think appearance is even more important as Step 0 for women. And there are tons of resources on this on RPW as well as /r/FeminineNotFeminist :)

Initial Conversation

Here men are instructed to use "verbal game" and I think that we can follow this as well. Being charming and increasing rapport are key at this stage. You want to both feel comfortable and in sync. A great way to achieve this is by mirroring. You can do this broadly by matching his body language, the rate at which he speaks, the volume of his voice, etc. But you can also take this further by echoing his vocabulary and phrasing from time to time. If he says "your meal looks delicious" you should say "it is delicious!". Really simple, but using his own words will land better. Don't go overboard with the echoing but it really does make a difference, even outside of seduction scenarios.

A lot of male PUA verbal game is actually inspired by how attractive women operate. So you can definitely use tactics like "agree and amplify" with success. Be sure to laugh or at least smile (depends on the mood/setting) and have open and inviting body language to supplement your verbal game (lean forward, slightly tilt your head, etc.).

Being energetic and emotionally expressive is key to charisma. Listening well and engaging your man on a non superficial level will have him seeing you in the right light. Use a lot of hand gestures for emphasis and to draw him into your world.

Incidental Class 1

Quoting directly from page 6:

The first class of kino addresses the arms and hands. It is very common for people to shake hands, high five each other, or to touch a persons arm to emphasize a point. Therefore it is of course the most natural start point for physical escalation

Incidental, for our purposes, means that it’s meant to be perceived as an uncalculated manner that mimics daily physical interaction. Physical escalation conducted in this fashion creates tremendous amounts of comfort

His examples given work well for both men and women: hand shaking, arm brushing, lightly touching his arm to emphasize a point, standing next to him with your arm touching his, high fives, palm reading, etc. He says to begin this within seconds of the conversation.

Married women won't always need to start here, but it's a good way to slowly build up tension. When your man (or the man you're on a date with/interested in) begins doing this type of kino, be receptive! Don't pull away, brush him off, or ignore him.

Overt Class 1

Overt kino is a direct display of interest. The whole ladder is about mixing incidental and overt kino at the right time to build connection and attraction. An example of overt kino in this category is holding hands.

Incidental Class 2

Class 2 refers to the torso and legs, but not erogenous zones. Some ideas: standing or sitting closer with your legs touching his, touching his back with your palm while speaking, pulling him closer to you while out in public. Again you want these to happen naturally, when you mix incidental and overt physical touch it really makes seduction effortless!

Overt Class 2

It seems like overt class 2 touching is best used to slow down the pace in some way. The examples he gives (other than hugging) are pretty male focused but I'm sure you can come up with some great ideas for this section! You could even reverse his examples on page 9 e.g. it says "sit next to her and place her leg over yours", you could definitely just sit and put your legs over his. You also could place your hand on his thigh but I feel like this is even more provocative when a woman does it so probably not best for you to do if you're with a stranger or someone you've just started seeing. Married women and women in LTRs should have no problem incorporating that move into the night.

Incidental Class 3

Hair, face, and neck. Examples: brushing (or pretending to brush) something off of his face, talking closely, talking close enough that your face is touching his, lightly caressing neck, etc.

Overt Class 3

From the doc:

Overt class 3 is the most direct method of showing physical interest short of kissing, and thus is meant to prepare for the kiss. As such it is meant to be delivered in a very slow, romantic and gentle way.

Most of the time while executing this step you should be sitting down, relaxed and maintaining a good sexual state. For the most powerful execution of this step it is good to maintain very strong eye contact. If the context is appropriate a slight smile or smirk is suitable

Examples: rest your head on his shoulder, move your face into his neck and smell him, lightly stroke his face with your finger while looking into his eyes, running your fingers through his hair while looking to his eyes. And of course being receptive to him doing all of this!

Everything from the beginning of the ladder through overt class 3 should take between 30 minutes and 4 hours.

The Escalation Ramp

These next steps should only take 5 - 15 minutes, once you're alone together in the location where you're going to have sex. In the doc it suggests doing this standing up or against the wall instead of lying down. This part of the doc is pretty explicit, and also stuff that 75+% of us already know lol so I'm just going to share some points that could be helpful regardless of your level of experience:

  • "A good technique for building sexual tension would be moving closely in, slowly as if you might kiss her, and then move away and start talking about something else should this occur."

  • After kissing his mouth, neck, and ears, he suggests lifting his shirt and touching his back. This is key because the next step is lifting his shirt and yours so that you are stomach to stomach. "It seems innocent and unnecessary, but will meanwhile trigger intense sexual feelings inside of [him]. The only time [he] feels contact like that is usually when [he’s] naked and having sex."

The next tips are all about stimulating her body and having sex, so it's really easy to just read through and reverse this to get a sense of what you could do as the initiator.

Additional Points

  • If you two naturally skip to a higher "class" of kino it "unlocks" the lower levels. So you can touch his arms if he's already touched your legs. This doesn't mean that you should skip the whole seduction process though, there is value in building tension and making him feel wanted.

  • It isn't beneficial to start the "escalation ramp" until you are actually in the location where you'll have sex. Don't start it at one place with the intent to finish later. Kissing is the obvious exception.

  • Overt kino should only last 5-10 seconds at a time and you should use a variety of methods to indicate attraction and desire.

Other female seduction ideas:

  • You can totally seduce him by making him come to you. Looking alluring involves both appearance and body language. Heels, hair with volume, eye contact, dropping something and bending over to pick it up, preening, and more!

  • While doing all the kino stuff, be sure you touch your self as well to get his mind on doing the same thing; subtly showing off body parts that you want him to touch is also key. Turn your hands to display the inside of your wrists, tilt your head to expose your neck, lightly touch your collarbone, stoke your thigh or throat when you know he's looking but without looking at him.

Okay I thought I had more but my notes are kind of a jumble! Looking forward to your thoughts on everything I've shared, and please share your own seduction tips and stories!