I'm kind of new to this general redpill community.

I recently got a very well paying job, and I met a coworker who is quite shy and sweet. In fact, she had no rings on her fingers and for a week of meeting for lunch almost every day, she made no mention of any boyfriend.

Fast forward to recent chat we had. Right before this, I had asked her friend (another coworker) whether she had a boyfriend, as it was not clear to me. The friend told me that yes, they have, and they are in fact serious (living together). I just said "woops, thanks, that's good to know".

So back to the recent chat, now suddenly the boyfriend comes up (it seems too coincidental not to be, but I assume the coworker told her...). Anyway, they've been together for years, they live together etc., but yet the way she talks to me on the corporate IM system, and the way we are talking in person, it is almost certain that she has an interest in me.

Let me give you a concrete example so that I am not entirely deluded:

  • I had mentioned her friend (same one as before, coworker), who is quite attractive, because I knew her from a previous job. Almost as soon as we were talking and I mentioned this, she was saying "oh, is that why you talked to me? to talk to her?" in a very jealous way. And i took this as a sign that she was disappointed and was interested in me and was fishing for selective-attention, which I gave her by saying no i want to talk to you etc.

  • Another example is that she was sad about a meeting that went poorly and I was just making jokes (not even trying to flirt really) and she was laughing and saying I made her smile etc.

Now let me clarify, I have multiple other female coworkers. NONE of them is the feeling similar at all. And frankly, they all made clear their husband/boyfriend situation basically within the first hours (like most "good women" do). So I'm not totally autistic to the point where I can't read these kinds of vibrations.

Back to the lunch chat we had where her boyfriend came up -- I decided after this came up to take an angle of like "well what kind of boyfriend is this if he wont put a ring on your finger". And i've initiated physical contact of various sorts to guage her reaction and she has been receptive (just light things, like touching her arms).

At this point, I'm not really sure how it's going. And instead of feeling like I'm getting closer and have a chance, I just feel like I'm becoming an orbiter of this chick who has a boyfriend. She's been working on a project and I'm helping her almost purely because I have this interest in her. It's work that I like in general so it's not a chore, but i don't like the feeling that she is just using me, if that is the case.

To conclude, I am in this point now where, i want to cuck this girl's boyfriend. She is clearly not being well taken care of and I want to take her over. However, she has been with this guy for literally since they were in high school, so like 10 years or something. Their sex must be absolute shit now, and she must be desperate for something more, or some commitment (not married, no kids at all). When the boyfriend thing came up I decided i would just entirely stop aggressively initiating anything with her and let her just come to me, which she has been. Always msging me to chat and say sweet things, meeting me for lunch etc.

I refuse to be an orbiter, but, i fear that I already am one. Can I get confirmation of this and exactly what I should be doing? I presume I should be an asshole in order to clearly send her the message that I'm not some friendzone bitch.

Thanks mates.