I am just a man who’s been reading and testing. But for someone who struggled to not only understand what frame even was for the longest time. Then sucked at getting it (even after reading ever possible post on it), this is what worked for me. Maybe it won’t work for you. But hey we’re just here to trade note so here’s mine and what tied all the basic shit that’s talked about together for me. None of this is new but Maybe this will break it down a little better for my fellow autistic men.

1. Take Note of all your thoughts

This is what STFU is all about. When you’re told to STFU it’s not only because you’re probably going to say something stupid. It’s because your thoughts become words and your thinking fucking sucks. When you STFU you’re able to take note of your thoughts. What are you thinking about when your wife’s bitching. When your boss is yelling at you. When the AMOG is calling you a faggot?

Practice noticing these thoughts for a week. And you’ll start to see a pattern.

2. What are these thoughts focusing on?

I can guarantee you after observing your thoughts for a week. In almost every instance in the interactions you’re having. Your focus is through your wife’s or someone else’s eyes/mind.

When you’re asking yourself. “Should I go to the gym?” You’re probably answering yourself with something like “we’ll if I do my wife might get mad since she’s been at home with the kids all day. And I don’t want to piss her off because….”

I used to do this shit. I noticed every move I made was seeing it through her eyes. Her mind. Her emotions.

red pill lesson: mental point of origin.

Again take note of how much you’re doing this and you will be surprised it’s probably always if you have no frame. And it’s also a very powerful tool once you realize you’re doing it. Meditate on it.

3. Adjust your focus to yourself

Now you been STFU Noticing your shitty thoughts. Living through and for someone else. It’s time to shift this focus to solely you. Every response, every action needs to be thinking about yourself. Like you’re looking or talking to a mirror. Your wife is just a clock on the wall. Ticking away. Makes noise every hour. You take notice of the time and go about your day and if the clock starts bonging out of control you either get a new clock. Let the batteries die or get away from the damn clock. Oh and she’ll need to be readjust twice a year. Joking. But You get the picture. She’s just there.

This is where you will acquire frame, and for now it doesn’t even matter if it’s good frame. Or shit frame. It’s just having a frame that doesn’t involve your wife’s face in your mind. For once. It’s what frame is.

Red pill lesson: live as if your wife is dead.

It doesn’t even matter if you’re fucking shit up at this point. as long as your thoughts are about you it’s a good start.

4. Focus on your mission

Now is where you polish your shit frame. Given you already have a mission. If you don’t there’s a million post on that also.

This is where your new thoughts will all be focused and come from. Does this thought or action get you closer to your mission? If it does. Then do it. If it doesn’t don’t. Or refer back to step one. STFU and take note. From this point it will be all about adjusting to your mission and adapting to changes. As it’s been said a million times here. Anything else is irrelevant or comical.

Footnote: depending on your mission and where you’re at in your journey will depend on the levels of comfort you should be providing if any at all and all that other shit that comes with running your ship. But this post isn’t about that. It’s about acquiring frame when you have absolutely none. This is when the tsunami is in full force. All your crew is losing their shit. And you get your ass on the wheel get laser focused. Ignore it all the chaos and get your ship out of the storm. It doesn’t matter if you crash or get lost. At least you are the one in control. No one else. From there you can strengthen your frame to your mission after it subsides.

And for once you can finally stop thinking about what your wife thinks about you being in the bathroom so long while you type up victim pukes on askmrp.