I don’t have a car and my parents can’t drive me everywhere, so I have to take the bus. Today I was headed to gamestop downtown to buy a new pro controller for my switch (I got mad and broke mine) and the gamestop is about 30 minutes from where I live, so I brought my switch with me to play celeste during the ride. I kid you not, not TWO MINUTES into the ride, a woman boards the bus and walks up to me.

“Hey I’m so sorry but do you mind if I take your seat?”

I look her up and down. Late 20s, blonde, heavily pregnant. I give her a look

“I’m so sorry, it’s just that I’m pregnant and there are no other seats”

I sigh.

“Ma’am, just because you let someone creampie you like the filthy whore you are, does not mean you are entitled to my seat, don’t use the pussy pass on me.”

I then turn my attention back towards my switch. Silence. Slowly, people start to clap. The bus stops at my stop, as I walk off the bus people are cheering, one guy even shouted “you’re a legend!”

I then got my new pro controller and enjoyed celeste even more. Fellas, I would call this a win.