Looking to crowdsource something that's largely embarrassing for most of us, but it's super important and rarely discussed. Apologies to the mods if this isn't the appropriate forum.
I've started dating again and am struggling to figure out how to *move* during sex in a way that feels good for me. I have no problem getting myself off with a vibe, but I feel like I've conditioned my body to come only a certain way as a result and am trying to recondition it. Obviously, like so many women, I'm also trying to overcome internalized misogyny and shame around sex, my desires, and the pernicious reality of spectatoring my own sexual experiences. Fuck patriarchy.

So ladies, answers to any of the below appreciated:

1) How active are you during sex *not* for your partner but in a way that gets you off? And what does that look like? I wouldn't consider myself passive during sex - I'll kiss my partner, stroke his body, lightly bite his shoulder, nuzzle him, run my nails (lightly) down his body, and so on. In missionary, I'll roll my hips to meet his (when it makes sense). In doggy, I'll push back (rhythm allowing). What does "active" movement during sex look like to you? Obviously, some of those things feel good for my partner, but some of them (rolling my hips, pushing back) feel good for me. Note that this is movement that makes you come or feel good. Like, are there tools in this sex toolkit I'm not working with but could be?

2) How in ever-loving eventual heat-death of the universe does one do girl on top in a way that feels good for you? It almost never feels good when I do it, and I feel self-conscious because I have no idea what I'm doing. How do you move your hips and position yourself? I get there and then I'm just like, OK, now what? Guess I'll just file my taxes and finally read Chaucer.

3) What are your quirks for coming that you feel self-conscious about (or DGAF about)? I feel like I need to actively tense my pelvis in order to come, and I usually come on my back and need to pull back my labia to expose my clit more. I feel self-conscious about this, and if discussing this was more normalized, I and so many other women probably wouldn't be.

4) Have you learned to come one way, but then taught your body to get used to other ways? How did you manage it?

5) What position do you come in the most and/or most easily, and how?

6) Did kegels *actually* making coming easier for you?