Crosspost "Analysis on the Misogyny Video" from /r/Healthygamergg:

EDIT: I hope Dr. K does see this because, so far at least 2 hours in, there are a few feminists that are unintentionally making the exact points about divisiveness that I was trying to point out by being prime examples of it. Now, that's not necessarily bad. But some of the men have blatantly been told they were wrong when they tried to express their opinions, and I think it's a good example of the sexism on both sides, and an inherent lack of empathy. It kind of makes my point. Women don't generally empathize with men, and men are being taught to empathize with women. The solution is for everyone to empathize with everyone. But look at this whole thread. Framing this stuff as men and women's issuse literally has invited division, just as I predicted. Some of the convos have been insightful though, so thank you to those ladies and gentlemen.

TL;DR: Men v Women framing is conducive to division. Much of what Dr. K said about women's difficulties is accurate, but he failed to layout the positive trade-offs of those things. For example: His analogy for men to understand women's plight was to imagine always having your mom nag you everywhere you go. A better example would be that your mom nags you everywhere you go AND some women you are interested in and attracted to also approach you and flirt with you and try to start relationships with you randomly with no effort on your part. There is a trade-off that is directly tied to the problem. He only pointed out the curse and not the boon.

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I’m going to use Dr. K’s tactic of saying - If you think your doing a good job at something and someone says there is a problem you should start by listening because it is likely showing a blind spot in your thinking. If you think you understand these issues well, you should start by listening therefore read the whole thing and take the criticism. Because the more logic you have to discount my opinion, the more CATASTROPHICALLY YOU ARE WRONG!

While I think there is some truth to that statement, it is also a rhetorical tactic used to gaslight people. I am not saying Dr. K is doing that. I do not think he is. I just wanted to point that out that statements like these are often employed in such a way. That being said, I’m going to use it as a rhetorical tool to make my point, and usher people towards reading until the end.

Mutilation: For women it is worse when it happens because of how ti happens, and women in those places have it worse. But this doesn’t account for the vast majority of women, or hardly any women in the west. If you believe circumcision is an issue, then men have it worse from this perspective in western countries. I don’t think it’s fair to use men and women as a class globally much of the time, especially with issues like mutilation. Women in Canada don’t have the same struggles as women in an Amazonian Jungle in South America. It’s just not an accurate comparison.

Default responsibility: Both sexes have default responsibilities. As Dr. K said, he feels it’s his default responsibility to take care of a clogged toilet. It’s also his default responsibility to be the provider. The have the default responsibility to be protectors. If Dr. K’s house get broken into, he has the default responsibility to fight. Both sexes have default responsibilities. Dr. K can think women’s are harder, but that’s just his perspective. He’s also a HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL MAN though. He’s a doctor and he went to Harvard. By societal metrics, he’s in the top 1%. If we’re talking globally, probably the top 0.1%. So his personal experiences as a man should be related to that subset of men. Highly successful men, arguably do have it on easy mode in many ways. He likely didn’t have to go through life worried about getting jumped in the inner cities, or being in a situation where he was thrust into the role of protecter and had to engage in violence much. Perhaps in his experience this is a small default responsibility because he hasn’t had to enact that responsibility that often, and perhaps he doesn’t feel like his provider responsibility is the same if his wife also works, but as he said, women have house work, men help. Well, men have provider work, and women help. That’s western culture as it currently exists. The point is here, that both roles have trade-offs. We could talk all day about the different default responsibilities that men and women have. The point is that both genders have them, and there are trade-offs to both.

Harassment: Women get harassed more. I think his analogy about always having your mother around is a good one, but it is also not as accurate as it could be. A better example would be, you always have your mom nagging you, AND you also have many women that you are attracted to talk to you openly and blatantly walk up and flirt with you. It’s a trade-off, as most things are. You get both. Many men would take this trade off. One of the biggest problems everyone has is loneliness, and having people come up to you are try to start talking to you is much easier to solve the loneliness problem. Men try to start relationships with many women because if they don’t they will be alone.

Now this entire time I’m clearly framing this as a men’s vs women’s issue, but I didn’t say that men have it harder or women have it harder in general. I did this because it is the opposite view to Dr. K’s view in the video. The fundamental issue with framing things this way is that this leads to people not actually addressing the real issues. Dr. K’s original strategy was likely more effective and less divisive. Dr. K is entitled to his opinion that women have it harder. He might even be correct. I’m not sure there is an objective way to measure it because you’d have to be measuring subjective hardships. Which is worse? To be nagged eternally or lonely eternally? Which is worse? To be objectified for your body or to be objectified for your wallet? These aren’t objective measurements. No answer is correct. You’re trying to measure subjective human suffering which is inherently subjective. Framing it as men vs women, or men have it easy mode and women have it hard mode or vice versa is the same critic people make of some redpill communities have when addressing women’s issues. Someone said this in one of the YouTube comments and I think it reigns true - when we start to frame things as mens issues and women’s issues we lose sight of the real problems. Problems have multiple sides. And this framing leads to echo chambers. It’s leads to minimizing the issues on the other side. I’m not sure that solves any of the problems with misogyny that exist.

So Dr. K’s original approach is more likely to address sexism. His original approach of addressing these issues indirectly and individually where he sees them is likely to be vastly more effective, which is why I made my original point about blind spots at the beginning. Sure, you should listen to criticism. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that the criticism was accurate.

Life is all a matter of perspectives, and you can adopt whatever perspective you want. Women have it harder. Men have it harder. Capitalism is evil. Down with the patriarchy. We need a strong totalitarian government to protect us. Whatever. They’re all just lenses. All perspectives are just a lens with which to view the world. None of them are completely accurate measurements. None of them. All stories are fictions, in a sense. But some perspectives, some framings are more divisive than others. Now perhaps that isn’t a bad thing, though I’m not sure division is really a goal of this community.

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Link to video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_z9jJFq3Hz0&ab_channel=HealthyGamerGG

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Posted by masksandothertruths | 9 December 2021 | Link