I grew up in a devout Christian household that would probably be described as fundamentalist by a secular person. No birth control. No premarital sex. Alcohol is a sin. Halloween is "the devil's holiday." I myself have 6 siblings, 19 aunts/uncles, and over 100 first cousins.
Due to a significant college scholarship, I ended up away from the community I grew up in. In college, I abstained from sex, viewing it as morally reprehensible. I am attractive and have been invited to girls' dorms, but I was never interested in casual sex - I was taught that premarital sex = admission to hell, so I was never even tempted by it.
My current views on the Bible and Christianity aren't perfectly in line with what I was taught as a child, but I have no interest in deviating from that lifestyle - I feel like it's a central part of my identity at this point.
I now work in a large, liberal city - far from where I grew up. Looking around in Christian communities, it seems like it's incredibly difficult to find a girl who retained her virginity. Considering that I waited, I would feel like a total sucker taking a girl who slept with another man to the point where I would rather never marry.
I'm stuck in this mental loop where I strongly desire a family and children, but I could never take a non-virgin spouse - it's not due to insecurity. It's more so disgust of her having another man all over her - I could never view a woman as "mine" if she gave herself over to someone else.
I know the general view among guys is that a girl who had more partners than them = undesirable. I have no interest in having premarital sex, so anything above 0 is too much for me to form a sense of companionship with a girl.
I did think about going back to the community I was raised in, but most girls are married off around 18-22 and stay close to their families - I don't think it would be realistic to go back and try to court a girl when my career has forced me into an entirely different setting.
How would you navigate this situation? For the record, I'm 23 and in a white-collar profession.
tldr: Saved myself for marriage due to religious upbringing - want the same from a girl but cannot find one.
Using a throwaway account since my main account contains personally identifiable information.
[–]SkimTheDrossMod | 40M | Married 17 yrs 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RunawayGrain 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SkimTheDrossMod | 40M | Married 17 yrs[M] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheGodofOrphans 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Milan514 6 points7 points8 points
(1 child) | Copy Link
[–]rocknrollchuckMod | 52M | Married 13 yrs[M] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]that_old_white_guy -4 points-3 points-2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ace7734 -5 points-4 points-3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]Torn4_025 -6 points-5 points-4 points (0 children) | Copy Link