BPD or normal female craziness?

Sometimes it's really hard for me to figure out whether a girl you are in a relationship with is just crazy like every other female or crazy crazy. I am sleepless this night because of the following event:

I was talking to my girlfriend on the phone, I'm currently not home because of work and, well, she asked me to take off my shirt on the video call. I was teasing her a bit, refusing to do so, joking that she just saw me as an object, that she was supposed to say "please" etc. And usually girls understand this kind of game and they tease you back. They understand that little bit of back and forth of a demonstration of power. You can use this to make her take off her shirt too etc. It's pretty standard game stuff, right?

Well, not with this girl it isn't. Yes, it made her laugh, she thought it was funny, but suddenly her mood changed and she was seriously pissed. Just for like 10 seconds. I told her: "You know we're just joking here. Am I right? Or is there something wrong?" Of course this 100% kills any vibe. But that wasn't my fault. After the whole situation was over and we had some fun (no, not masturbation fun, just flirting), I was left with the feeling that she ruined the moment. So after a bit I brought it up again. Big mistake. Because then she accused me of ruining the moment because for her it was "over" and now I would "over analyze" the situation. Basically she was telling me to not give a fuck about her aggression and she probably intuitively felt that it was beta of me to talk about it.

But then everything got much worse: I told her it's fine and it wasn't a big deal. But I insisted that she can't blame me for bringing something up she did. This happened several times before that she really gets pissed when I tease her, refuse to do things and demonstrate power in a playful way. So I wanted to know what's up with this behavior. Well, then she told me that I would always over analyze things. That she now would feel "sad". You could see her eyes watering up, and she looked seriously miserable, as if something terrible had happened. She told me she always feels like she'd never know if she would make a mistake or not. That she always had to please me and that she was now scared to do something I didn't like. Uhm, excuse me? What just happened? She had very strong emotions again, looking at me like she was imploding inside, like somebody abused her.

After a little more conversation she just told me "good night" in a harsh way and hung up. I was shocked by this extreme reaction. Her eyes looking like she would die inside. What's up with this?

I have a mild form of mainly cognitive OCD. It's a form of OCD that makes you have intrusive thoughts and repeat things in your head over and over again. I got treatment in the past and it has gotten a lot better. But I still have it. Also, I am sometimes paranoid with behaviors that are similar to a so called "vulnerable narcissist". Don't get me wrong, I'm not a narcissist. But I do something they also do: I get paranoid in conversations and think someone might have insulted me. So I ask very carefully what he said and I'm listening closely. I am pretty sensitive to slight changes in people's voice and I definitely feel shamed and disrespected too quickly. So I have probable cause to distrust my own judgment in situations like this from time to time. I'm aware of this and I'm working on it for years.

After her "storming" out of the situation I played the scenario she accused me of in my head. I exactly followed her line of thought which would basically amount to this: I am a terrible monster who always second-guesses her, who puts her into a position of constant terror to insult me or belittle me. Then I felt extremely guilty. Another vulnerability of mine: I feel extremely responsible for others and it's easy to manipulate me with guilt. But this time the guilt wasn't normal at all. An extreme feeling overcame me and I felt suicidal for a moment. Actually suicidal. Wow. I never feel like that EVER. I am usually one of those people who are very positive enjoying life. That is absolutely not like me. And I started wondering if this was something you call "counter-transference" in psychology. But let me explain: Counter-transference is a situation where you feel exactly like the person you are talking to. She makes you feel like she feels: Full of guilt, self-hatred, anger, etc. This can be very complex and give you feelings, thoughts and self-images you never had before.

I know my girlfriend has a problem with admitting negative feelings towards me. Sometimes she's pissed and I know what's up. But then she denies that there was any problem. She can do this for hours. Like every woman. Not admitting that they are mad at you and just punishing you indirectly, be it with the "silent treatment", complaining about everything etc. are some of the many techniques out of the toolbox of female warfare. That is normal. What is not normal to go berserk every time I address a negative emotion she has for me. I never saw this in another girl ever and I've been in many relationships in my life with normal and very crazy girls. I have been with multiple BPD women, I've been friend-zoned by a diagnosed narcissist in the past, so I know what crazy looks like. And the closest her behavior comes to is BPD. My theory is that she feels extremely abandoned and lonely when I criticize her. And that her extreme case of one-itis she has for me gets insulted by me suggesting she'd have a problem with me, even if it was just in very particular situations. In the past she once told me that she felt extremely lonely and lost one time she got crazy. An admission she now of course "magically" doesn't remember anymore.

And as you can see, writing all this down, I am not alpha enough to not give a fuck and just sleep. I really can't. My mind is racing, I slept for maybe 2 hours tops. Is this the beta in me? Thinking about it, I'm sure it's not full-blown BPD, probably just a mild case. But this is one of many nights my sleep is ruined by her. I said to myself, after all she's just a woman. Yes, I love her, but she isn't worth the trouble because she will never, ever take responsibility for this. She'll never ever know how much trouble she causes me by shouting into my face, crying frantically, storming off and more. All this happened before and this here was a light version of it. Gaslighting me into feeling guilty for nothing, it's all part of her standard repertoire. And she'll never (or rarely) admit it's her fault. I have to learn to not give a damn anymore but I'm so full of anger and resentment because I feel like I didn't deserve this. Any thoughts? Am I a pussy here?