She is very insecure about her looks and who she is. While this makes her very warm, supportive, willing to do and go along with whatever I want.. it seems more so out of her fear of losing me.

I'm now starting to believe this is killing the attraction for me. I empathize and reassure her with hand holding, kissing, cuddling, but it is never enough. It screws up my role and her role, and the sexual dynamic is hard to maintain. She is always watching me when we go out, seeing if I'm looking at other women and paying attention more to how I am enjoying sex than her own body. If I can't keep up her self esteem she closes up.