I'm a 20yo white guy and I've been dating this 21yo chinese girl for about a month. I had some unexpected issues because my girlfriend is (was) a virgin. I know because the first time I tried to have sex with her I couldn't fit it in at all. The second time, I tore the fuck out of her and it was pretty unpleasant for both of us.

Anyway, last night I tried to start fingering her and she didn't want to do anything. I was pretty cold about it. No kisses and I just rolled over and slept. That was the right move because this morning she was really touchy with me and I fingered her for a pretty long time before we had sex. It worked pretty well this time but after a short while she wanted to stop because it was hurting her. I was not happy about it but obviously I'm not going to keep going, that would be fucked up.

I've seen plenty of posts on /r/theredpill that said once a week sex is pitiful. Hell, plenty of people have said that even twice a week is not enough. I am not sure what to even aim for. Oral sex (giving and recieving) disgusts me and I would really just like to have normal, average sex on a regular basis and have it be pleasurable for both parties. I am wondering if this is even achievable in real life.

As a disclaimer, in other scenarios I would just dump this girl and move on. The ONLY reason I am giving her the benefit of the doubt is because she's never had sex before and we otherwise have a healthy, redpill dynamic in our relationship. So as heartless as I am, I understand why she would be averse to sex at first what with me being really big and her being really small. She is a human after all. I don't want to just write her off so quickly for nothing. I've been "plating" for years and had sex with maybe 10 different girls, but in the last month I've been much more satisfied with this girl than any of the other ones.

That's about it, and I would greatly appreciate any advice from yall experienced men. I can honestly accept it if your advice is to chuck this girl and quit with this relationship bullshit. I would like to think that I am not backtracking on all of the redpill knowledge I've gained, but it's hard to tell from my own perspective. I think that getting an outside opinion on my situation would be really helpful. Cheers and thanks in advance.