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For those who got caught up in the Red Piller's non-consentual harem or love cult. The coaches can trick vulnerable and lonely men all they want with repackaged tricks, but a lot of people know what it really is. Trauma bonds aren't real love.

HaltedAndCaughtFire

March 5, 2022

8 upvotes

/r/ExRedPill

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Title	For those who got caught up in the Red Piller's non-consentual harem or love cult. The coaches can trick vulnerable and lonely men all they want with repackaged tricks, but a lot of people know what it really is. Trauma bonds aren't real love.
Author	HaltedAndCaughtFire
Upvotes	8
Comments	3
Date	March 5, 2022 12:52 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/t6xl5q/for_those_who_got_caught_up_in_the_red_pillers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/for-those-who-got-caught-up-in-the-red-pillers-non.1104103 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104103

Comments

[–]Brighr51 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

I've realised through time this is exactly the dynamic between my mother and father. He's completely brainwashed her, and she's terrified of standing up for herself. He isn't a grandiose narc, but a covert one. I've challenged him many times on criticism he's made on my behaviours (esstientally things that don't give him what he wants from me), but he always tries to spin it as "you're being unreasonable".

Eventually, he just concedes when he's backed into a corner so he doesn't have to take any accountability, the excuse is always "I want to maintain a peaceful family", yet his wife and everyone around him feels like shit?

It made sense to me why he was so selfish with money, he didn't even help put me and my siblings through school, but luckily my grandparents did. How else was he going to pay for escorts? Lol.

[–]HaltedAndCaughtFire[S] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

Learning about them and what they do is the best line of defense. A few books could potentially save her, if you wanted to assist.

He's completely brainwashed her, and she's terrified of standing up for herself. He isn't a grandiose narc, but a covert one.

I was raised by one and often they're the scariest. Grandiose ones are at least easy to spot and avoid, the covert ones rely on a mental trap called the F.O.G. (using coersion with Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to trap a good person into a servitude loop) or gaslighting with F.U.D. (Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt) to keep their victims compliant (or doubting themselves so much they slowly start to believe they're "lucky" to be with the abuser or they don't fight back because they don't want to "rock the boat".

I've challenged him many times on criticism he's made on my behaviours (esstientally things that don't give him what he wants from me), but he always tries to spin it as "you're being unreasonable". You might find good company over at r/insaneparents.

Gaslighting and DARVO. Essentially "be like me and cater to my every demand or you're garbage). That's good you're seeing through it.