(A bit of a reflection/rant)

I am not sure if this happens to many of you as well, but I feel reading this sub has had a very bad impact on my mental health, in terms of anxiety, anger and lack of motivation.

I don't seem to find another topic that triggers in me an equally strong emotional response.

Don't get me wrong, I think most of the grievances expressed here are completely valid and I hope they'll be addressed by our society.

But for some reason reading about men's issue seem to upset me in a disproportionate way. E.g.:

  • I ended up literally waking up at night thinking about men victims of domestic violence, even though I have nothing to worry about as my partner is one of the most peaceful people I can even find (also, she is aware of men's rights issues herself)
  • I was furious that Singaporean/South Korean men have to serve 2 years in the military because of their gender (let's not even talk about the Ukrainian situation...). But I live on the other side of the planet.
  • I had bad anxiety thinking that I wouldn't be believed/supported in case I was victim of sexual assault, even though the probability of that happening to me is *very* low
  • I had bad anxiety thinking about false rape accusations which, due to my lifestyle, are also extremely unlikely (much less likely than having some horrible disease)
  • Bad divorce stories can manage to make me angry for a whole day.
  • etc...

This disproportionate response has been really puzzling me, considering that literally none of the men's issue has been affecting me directly (I am not even circumcised).

Some people say that "when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression". I think in a sense it's not too far from the truth.

I think when you are told all your life that you are privileged, and then you are suddenly hit with a huge amount of evidence showing that you are instead a second class citizen, and that the society is ready to destroy you at the first opportunity, you feel disoriented to say the least.

I ended up avoiding reading this sub, and after just few days I noticed some improvements. I stopped seeing threats and discrimination everywhere, and being obsessed with gender-reversal thought experiments ("what if this happened to a man"...).

Also, I started realizing my blessings: yes, Ukrainian men are not allowed to leave their country while all the sympathy is solely for the Ukrainian women who are instead allowed to leave. Is it fair? No, but the truth is that I am not in Ukraine, I am in a much more privileged position compared to both Ukrainian men and women, so why should I feel discriminated because of this?

When I was still reading this sub, I had the feeling that other people were in the same situation as mine. I think some of us really need to find a way to have awareness of the issues without wrecking our own mental health, even considering that (sadly) there is almost nothing we can do about it.