Hi all!

I am reaching out for some guidance.

I am F 23, my husband is M 25. I have been reading and participating in red pill since I was 19ish. It totally revolutionized my self image and approach to dating, and helped me be ready to marry my wonderful husband. We have been married for less than a year but together for over 3 years. We have a semi active bedroom life ( probably 2x a week - I would like more but he hasn't been interested)

Here is the issue:

For the last 4 months, we have been living under my parent's roof while I work an office job and he builds up his career in a creative field- we are saving for a down payment and for the eventuality of me being a SAHM. Additionally, my husband was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes in the last month.

This combined circumstance has led to increased stress in the home and has basically caused him to shut down as a person. Over the last 4 months he has gradually stopped working on his projects, stopped going to the gym, stopped initiating intimacy, and has been very irratable. At first I explained it away because he had been poorly- but his blood sugar is consistently within a normal range and he is still not the man he used to be.

My issue is that I keep trying to encourage him, and it isnt going anywhere. My knight in shining armor is losing himself. I am still going to work. I am still saving for our house. I am still watching my diet and losing weight for a healthy future pregnancy. But now I can't make a well researched and safe for him meal plan without it causing a spat about me giving him the wrong foods. I can't talk about project ideas with him without being rejected. I can't ask about the project he's currently working on without it being an issue. He used to come to bed with me, but he is staying up late to watch TV and then sleeping in beyond me. I am pushing him away with my actions and my words. I try to leave him in his cave to stew but due to the proximity of our living situtation sometimes I can't leave him alone.

I have contributed to this issue by nagging him and failing to hush up- I have shared too bluntly my disappointed and wounded heart and that has pushed him away. I have also contributed by not giving him adequate space to process. Additionally, my position as the primary wage earner has been difficult and emasculating for him in ways I can't fully understand.

I have attempted to solve this problem by asking for him to control more and more of our finances. At this point, he is in charge of everything other than my discretionary/fun spending. I have attempted to share with him that he is my lion- that he is a fighter- that I love him and that it is hard to see him so beaten down. I have initiated intimacy and been rejected many times this month.

Please help me find the words to be patient and supportive with him. Please help me to show him love and compassion. I know this is a difficult time for him and that his self image is changing. I also know that what I am doing right now isn't helping. I need him to know he is still my hero, and I miss who he was. I want to do my part to solve this before it grows into a bigger problem- our marriage is incredibly important to me and he is the most essential person in my heart. I dont want to push him away anymore.

This has been exceptionally vulnerable for me to share- so please, if possible, speak kindness in your suggestions.