I can't remember the exact date I found TRP but I wish I did. Was a fat kid growing up. I did get with a few girls in highschool but they weren't attractive. Never got any attention from attractive women and grew up constantly being looked down the nose and laughed at by good looking women. Constantly ridiculed and mocked by the "cool kids" and as a result not attractive. So used to never turning heads in a room or being desired by desireable women and respected by men. I got to college , got with an average looking girl my first semester, got oneitis hard, got dumped a week before spring break when I was supposed to go to her house for the week to meet her family, cried in front of her (yea, I know). My journey into getting in shape started the weekend after.

3 years later, junior in college, somewhat lighter and stronger. Lifting but I didn't have the discipline and sleep. Drinking heavily on weekends, smoking a lot of pot, eating shit food and video games so lifting became just another thing I was half assing. I was sitting in one of the labs in college; staring at the screen, eyes out of focus, hitting the random subreddit button hoping something good would just drop into my life like the lazy shit I was. That day, as if by the will of God, I randomed the TRP and little did I know that I was about to start working harder than I had ever worked in my life. You know what they say, teach a man to fish.

Fast forward 2 years : 5'10 inches height. 12% bodyfat, 174 lbs, powerlifter getting close to the "1300 lb" total club, lats like an angry cobra's head. Fasting 20-22 hours a day, only eat dinner, training fasted. No carbs on rest days + some sort of light recovery work. Diet is straight up organic and cooked at home. No drinking or smoking pot on weekdays or before 6 pm. No beer, no video games, no TV. Meditation every morning and plenty of reading and green tea throughout the day. 8-9 hours sleep every night. Good job with good people. Fairly wealthy (from family), nice car, tailored clothes, socially connected. I'm in the best shape and health of my life.

Now I'm faced with a whole different problem: I don't know how to handle attention. Compliments make me feel really, painfully awkward and I don't know what to say back. Someone gives me a compliment and the first thought I have is that they are mocking me. From the corner of my eyes I see girls eye fucking me at coffee shops and my first thought is that they are laughing at me, making jokes at my expense. I don't know what it is. It feels like an invisible force that I can't seem to break free of. I don't know what to do.

Any advice or anecdotal evidence for this feeling, to help me progress, is appreciated and as always, thanks for reading.