So, another field report for y’all. History with this one dates back to when I (M19 then, now 21) acquire presidency of a uni society. She’s (age unknown, never told me, ballpark 7 years older) studying for a doctorate in psychology. Has a veritable army of simps chasing her at all times as a classic blonde pale model look.

We go on one date in my second year, nothing comes of it. I filter her into my archive, move on with my life.

Bump into each other at an event in my 3rd year towards the end of the 2nd term. Get to talking, one thing leads to another, we head to a coffee house, back to mine. Proceeds to happen a few more times over the course of that term and once when I get back.

After I get back for my final term (after our last hookup) it turns into more of a frustration. Decreasing interest, distant at social events, there was an anonymous submission to our uni message board in her style talking about keeping distance to avoid getting hurt. Lecturing myself about assuming this could have ever been her, but I’ll forgive myself the irrationality given that I was starting to feel protective.

After 2 weeks of near silence I call it dead in the water and seek her out for an answer. I get the classic ‘it’s not you it’s me’ and ‘wrong time right person’ lines OWTTE. She keeps going on about how she wants things to be spontaneous, she kept seeing other guys, she doesn’t want any expectations etc, all predictable uni behaviour. She’d also diagnosed me with ASD, lmao, ok. Probably, but even if so, idc.

I walk away after one last kiss unsatisfied with the explanation telling her I’m not gonna waste my time. I knew asking would kill the attraction but she said I didn’t do anything wrong, so on the chance it’s true, I’ll take that as a medal and watch her leave. Not sure how much else there is to learn here other than that people make irrational decisions (which can be uniquely frustrating if you think you’ve not made any obvious/unrecoverable mistake and are used to thinking logically) and it’s good to detach yourself from that. The only gap for me is in figuring out how; would be good to get the communities’ thoughts.