I used to be very unhappy.

I was abused a lot an exposed to a lot of things a child should not be

A mixture of an overbearing and religious mother combined with abusive traits and a deadbeat father

I was basically a pussy. And Society is not kind to men who show any type of weakness. Which is unfortunate and we can debate weakness but the fact that it happens is proof

But that fact right there is kind of why you can see why so many men fail and why both sides agree on one thing

If you are angry or depressed or in a bad psychological spot then you are considered unattractive

And that goes 10 times for dudes. Which biologically make sense

Back in our ancestral past it would make sense for a woman to be able to attract the least mentally ill men

That man could probably brush off getting scratched by a tiger or getting hit in the shoulder with an arrow and not go into psychological overload.

And because he was able to Soldier on he was most likely to survive and thus pass on those traits

I'm 6 ft 6 and I think that's the only reason why I have gotten as much success as I have if I could call it that.

Middle School is where gender roles really start to manifest because kids are still slaves biology's like adults but they're not mentally mature enough to really understand them or understand how that and Society intersect

But that really became apparent to me around that time

Out of both men and women in my middle school I bet at least 60% of us of all genders were depressed or psychologically messed up

We were all from low-income communities. But even though we all came from the same place and the same Community with the same type of background

If a man or in this case a middle schooler was depressed or insecure about those types of things then he would be considered unattractive

Even if his female counterpart literally was going through the same thing.

The girls were allowed to be depressed but they could be and still date because men are attractive more sold to looks.

The woman is scanning everything psychologically about the man and it makes sense why depression or anxiety would be unattractive

And I don't blame women for this but I will admit I am having trouble trying to figure out how to let go this hang up

It took me years to get self-confident and it took everything I had and I have been very messed up now as an adult

I'm closer to 30 then I am 18 and at some point I want to be able to forget about this because this type of thing is not cute and it only gets harder as you get older

Every single time I was out in a club trying my best to keep my social face on While fighting back every single psychological demon I had.

Meanwhile my best female friend who is equally depressed as me has no problem taking home many guys.

She can do so many things because he's a tiny woman but I am the complete opposite and there are disadvantages to that but it's clear that this was a big Advantage for her

And even she'll admit that we are different and she's a hardcore feminist

I've always been envious of women's gender-role especially when it came to dating

So much of your self-worth is hindered on something you really can't control like your looks and I know that's a generalization and I'm not a woman so I don't know

I've had some very depressed and out right bitter women in my life and I always saw it as a light yellow flag because

Everybody has problems and everybody has a past and if we could all shoes when we get over our trauma we would instantly do it but it's not that easy

If I want to attract a woman then I'll have to be the best app status and confidence and probably a whole bunch of other things that I really don't care about

I can't even take compliments on my clothes anymore because I'm constantly thinking they're not good enough.

I've had some abusive women in the past but I know that's not every woman but is very hard to unplug my mind from some very negative things