Which is why I can't really get down with the idea of emotional labor because any type of relationship and be translated into emotional labor.

That man that goes out and work 80 hours and still find time to fix all the problems with the house and find time for his wife is still committing emotional labor.

Just aa the wife may be still at home and doing housework but still tending to her husband.

That is not a question of who is splitting chores, make more money etc

All relationships from platonic to parental involve some of that.

But something that's always been a glaring double standard whether it be in relationships or friendships is for the fact that women are much more allowed to be open and expressive

A woman doesn't really get defeminized ,like a man would get emasculated if he emotes in a way that's not considered appropriate.

Which historically has always been the technique to keep men in line or to do things they normally which which is a shame them

But more than that I think that's like you're so much complaint also about things not being really fair or equal especially when it comes to dating

It's really frustrating when a girl in front of you is rejecting you for all the things she herself does

Now I understand some women will say a random thing when they are rejecting the man but whenever you hear about this it always comes off as a double standard to us

As a man I should be able to remote anyway and even be able to break down emotionally without my woman losing respect or emasculating me

Anything other would be considered hypocritical especially nowadays when we have spent the better part of fifty years deconstructing gender and gender identity and gender roles

Now no one's saying you have to be a horrible partner so she doesn't have a backbone at all but

It's crazy when a girl tells you that you're somehow too emotional as if you're not going to be able to protect her when she herself will never have to go through that same thing.

Like your standards of being emotional and was expected of my emotions is very different. I see my mother make a fool of herself in public but I can guarantee is my step dad's at the exact same thing people would look at it very differently

Most people in general will emotional dump if you get to know them but in almost every day I've been on the girl does exactly that. And I would never label it something mean like the motional jumping or something like that because this girl could probably believe that she is normal and everybody does have problems.

I'm walking proof that you could be big buff and outwardly sensitive while being a protector but even with that

It just seems to be the best strategy for a man to keep his feelings at check-in not reveal anything that could be seen as weakness

If I'm insecure about talking in front of people doesn't mean I can't do it nor does it mean that I'm not good at other things

But just maybe one of those things because attraction can't be negotiated

I'm a very emotional man. I like drawing and painting and singing. I love listening to people and try to give some aid with their problems, even if I can't fix them(nor should i)

But I know how it feels to be bullied or to be looked at as weird or different especially when you're trying to express yourself

I know how to have vulnerable relationships. What's vulnerable also should mean that I should be able to share whatever with out I feel like overbearing or that I'm looking weak

I know you can't control people thoughts or actions though

But as someone who's always been pro-feminist and anti gender roles and artistic. this is one of the famous blind spots that I see.

We say feminism is for boys I meant to but then be contradicted by saying only focus on women first

Which I'm not trying to be combative but it's a very stinky excuse to be able to wave away a complaint and say that " breaking the patriarchy will free men as well and that it is men's fault for it" When we all know that societal issues are caused by all members of society even when they think they're not doing it

In 2022 it should not even be a debate