Most boys in their teens will naturally arrive to the conclusion that you should be nice to a girl if you want their attention. You may try to befriend them and eventually make a move towards asking them out. Eventually you realize that doesn't work because "nice guys finish last". and you start listing to advice from the internet or other men.

The whole thing about women not liking "nice guys" comes from the idea that nice guys are being superficial. I also feel that most dating advice that teaches men to be charming is still superficial in nature. It usually requires them to act in a way that isn't natural to them in an attempt to manipulate a woman's affections.

Also the net effect of superficial charm on women can cause them to become jaded and see all men as being the same way. And for a man, it becomes impossible to prove your intent otherwise

From what I understand, it's better to just put yourself around women you like and see if she takes interest in you and if she gives you the right signals you can then ask her out? Basically she chooses to let you choose her.

Is this how it works or am I missing something?

.