As the title says really - I have a coworker who is attracted to me but doesn't want to leave her LTR for me as I am married with kids (yes it's a fucked up situation but I asked her, for many reasons, and she said no).

Now, I'm in a situation which feels like purgatory and I'm not sure of the correct way to act from a TRP standpoint. My options, as I see them:

  1. Continue to act 'as normal' with this girl which means we flirt with each other, tease, meet for lunch sometimes.

  2. Withdraw as much attention as possible without it seeming too obvious (this will be difficult and I will be called out on it). When called out, tell her truthfully that we can't continue to flirt etc. as it's wrong.

  3. Leave my job - the ultimate oneitis breaker but every ounce of my being doesn't want to do this, because I've still got oneitis for this girl.

  4. Continue to escalate with this girl in the knowledge that she is attracted and that life is short and that the job isn't important to me except that she works there and that I've read persistence is attractive if done right (big if).

What is my goal?

Simple.

To lose my oneitis so that I no longer see weekends as bad times because it means going 2 days without seeing this girl. To lose my oneitis so I stop acting like a lovesick puppy around her.

All I want is to lose my oneitis - bear in mind that I'm married so 'plating other girls' is not really an option unless I plan on risking my marriage and kids for girls that I'm not really interested in.

Hoping you good people can help me.