Only assertive when being attacked

duruga · 2017-08-26T15:11:26+00:00

I have the same problem as you, reading your post was a bit surreal.

What has worked for me is realizing that my disrespect bar was too high and needed to lower it. Too much was going through. You need to feel attacked quicker basically.

People can be disrespectful with the most candid of the smiles and the sweetest voice. People think they can be cheeky and get away with it. Being cheeky without consequences makes us feel good, so a lot of people instinctively look for a target that allows them to get away with it. It usually escalates with time. People do not live by a strong moral compass, we think we do but we are less morally strict than we'd like to believe. We test other people and take what we can get away with most of the time.

If you don't cut it from the start and let it grow, its where you find yourself in the situation where you put people on their place but its too late to salvage the relationship because the disrespect is too much. You need to cut it from the start.

Understand and realize that a lot of social interactions you had as normal are disrespectful and should not be allowed. Don't let anything disrespectful go through, as much as your brain will want to because it is used to it. At first you'll make some wrong calls but that's fine, you'll fine tune to your new level soon. Adopt a its better to say sorry later than let a person be disrespectful to you attitude. If you think someone is being cheeky with you but are not sure, adopt a confrontational stance and voice while asking what he means or similar.

Some people will still get through at first but with time you'll get better.

You have to be aware that your present attitude is a problem. While the others are the ones playing with you, your attitude is an invitation. Most people out there are not angels but are also not evil, if you present a front that does not allow people to get cheeky, you'll see how you can get along with most people fine and with a lot less drama.

chachaChad · 2017-08-26T19:47:37+00:00

I’ll bet money you didn’t have shit in writing regarding that business partner.

Title	Only assertive when being attacked
Author	empatheticapathetic
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	August 26, 2017 2:43 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6w5wf9/only_assertive_when_being_attacked/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/only-assertive-when-being-attacked.113159 https://theredarchive.com/post/113159

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