I friendzoned him and he still talks to his exes- but I want him

KombuchaEnema · 2022-10-02T23:08:01+00:00

I think you need to re-examine your “strong feelings.” Ask yourself:

Do I love this man?

Or am I suddenly interested in him because I feel natural competition with his exes?

When my husband interacts with other women in public settings, it does ignite jealous-lust in me. It helps me see him in a different light. Normally my husband is the man at home who talks to me about my day and stinks up the bathroom. In a public setting, especially when women walk up to him and flirt with him…it’s almost as if we’re dating again and it makes me feel uncomfortable and competitive (in a way that’s ultimately harmless).

But…that’s not the only setting in which I’m attracted to my husband. I’m still attracted to my husband when he’s asking me about my day (and even after he stinks up the bathroom, believe it or not).

From what I can gather in you’re post…you’re only attracted to this man when he’s in a public setting and entertaining other women.

What happens when he seriously commits to you? What happens when the excitement of competition is no longer there? What happens when you’re at home just having regular days?

Will you friendzone him again?

That being said: you can ask him to seriously date. You can apologize for friendzoning him in the past and give it a genuine shot. It will require you to be vulnerable and genuinely compete with his ex, but if he’s currently single I don’t see anything morally wrong with that.

However, I fear you’re putting yourself into a messy situation. I wouldn’t generally advise any woman to date a man who’s still talking to/flirting with his exes.

AutoModerator · 2022-10-02T22:49:02+00:00

Title: I friendzoned him and he still talks to his exes- but I want him

Full text: So I [20F] have been talking to this guy [20M] for about a month and a half now, we run in similar social circles so I've seen him around a few times but we only started talking recently. I'm dating to marry or for at least something long-term so it piqued my interest that he's the same religion and culture as me.

At first he was flirty and replied quick. I didn't feel a romantic connection to him at all though, as much as I wanted to and kind of put him in the friend box because we got on quite well in our conversations and I wanted him as a friend. I even asked him for guy advice which definitely hurt my chances (me and that guy didn't even end up working out!).

Something shifted, though, when I saw him a few days ago. We went to the same social event and I felt a major attraction seeing him in-person for the first time in a while. Problem is, I had already friendzoned him. He still flirts sometimes but not nearly as much as before. And, when he did I didn't flirt back.

He had told me earlier than he still talks to both his ex girlfriends who I both somewhat know. He's best friends with one of them (#1) and with the other, they're on speaking terms (#2). He even told me she (#2) said 'I love you' to him like 2 weeks before and he asked me if he should say it back, I said yes so he did to her. They might still have feelings for each other.

After the social event me, him and some other friends went out to grab food and I was in the front seat when he was driving. I was queuing up music when I saw a snapchat come in from his ex (#2) and felt so much jealousy boil up inside of me. I've never felt that way about a man.

I guess what I'm asking is, I have really strong feelings for this man and haven't been able to stop thinking about him the past few days since. Is there a chance this can be saved? I haven't felt this way in a long time, two or three years probably so I don't want to let go just like that. Should I pursue it or let it go? And, if I should pursue it how so?

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sweetiewrap · 2022-10-03T00:31:09+00:00

I think you should give it some time to figure out if you really have a desire for him or the attention he used to give you. Not to bash you, its a completely normal response in these situations but the feelings will likely go away once he turns his attention towards you again. Just something to keep in mind.

Title	I friendzoned him and he still talks to his exes- but I want him
Author	anoncrush1
Upvotes	0
Comments	3
Date	October 2, 2022 10:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xu2ayi/i_friendzoned_him_and_he_still_talks_to_his_exes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-friendzoned-him-and-he-still-talks-to-his-exes.1133048 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133048

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