My [21F] boyfriend [M22] have been dating for 1.5 years now, and he's great in most regards except for the fact that he constantly cancels on our plans together, and if he does make it he's a) late b) leaves early or c) both.
I've tried to talk to him very gently about how it makes me feel unloved and not cared for when he does this, and how I would love to spend a lot more time with him than we currently do and although he is so receptive and apologizes in the moment, it happens over and over again.
For context, my parents don't know about the relationship because I'm not allowed to date but his do know. This adds a layer of complexity, but I've said many times that I'd love if he made the plan and I'm free to see him if it's in the area I go to university (as to not raise suspicions from my parents).
He doesn't make plans much, though, and it's only when I bring it up (and fine, nag at times) that he does. He will probably cancel from there for some reason or another- although they aren't dumb reasons most of the time.
For example, he cancelled today because his grandma can't be home alone but he knew that she couldn't be, so why did he make the plan in the first place? Why couldn't he have made arrangements for that? These are questions I want to ask him but refrain.
The last date we went on was on March 24, and he left 3 hours early from when we were supposed to end. It has been a month now. We only live 5 minutes away from each other by car too, and I know we won't always live so close as I want to move countries so I'd like to take advantage of our situation currently.
How do I get him to want to spend time with me without cancelling or leaving late/early?
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