My boyfriend's mother was psychologically and occasionally physically abusive to him, and now he is living with me due to it, with my family, who also has loose screws but is sadly an upgrade for him. My family doesn't like when we use the kitchen, so we've been going out to eat every day. My family also will not cook anything that isn't bland (I'm talking they will only shop for things on clearance at dollar general and don't add any seasonings, I mean NONE, even salt and pepper and I'm not allowed to have the pepper next to the salt because they don't like it.) This has landed my boyfriend 8k in debt between helping with my car payments as I have ASD and struggle to hold a job (just terminated for the 8th time) and don't qualify for disability either, helping with groceries and cleaning supplies here, and way overextending himself. We're looking at places together and we got approved for a place today and the landlord was ready to give it to us, but he doesn't have enough saved for a deposit and couple months worth of rent, so we ignored the landlord sending the lease to sign, and agreed we won't do any more showings or contacting people on zillow until we have enough saved. He's been helping with everything and I feel terrible. I regret us eating out so much. I gave him the idea to get a discover card because I heard it's a way better card than his chase one he had, and they automatically approved him for 5k to which we blew on eating out and Misc stuff. We even had an emergency where we ended up spending a lot of money at the grocery store because everyone in the house got sick and we picked up medicine and immunity boosting foods, and I mean it worked, that was the quickest we ever got over being sick, but that was a setback. I now have a fungal infection and need help with getting ointment and I don't know how that's going to happen because literally everyone in this house has $0 to spend, and my primary care physician is booked until next month. Everything is bad and I'm scared and sad and feel horrible for making this guy go broke. We used to argue a lot because I have a "history" (though this is only my second bf) of arguing in relationships which is a trait I hated of mine and I've been working on it and it's been going really well. BUT, I feel extra guilty for this money thing ON TOP of the arguing and emotional issues ive subjected him to. I don't come from a fiscally literate home, so I wasn't just trying to use him, I was just naive that it would be okay. Should I step aside and let him be the man and deal with it, or should I start hacking at that debt ASAP once I'm employed again? I'm so scared and sad I hope I didn't ruin his life. I feel I've already caused this poor, good man so much trouble, I just want this to end. And what happens when I lose my job? This is horrid and I feel so scared for his wellbeing. He only works at Amazon and he's been working 60 hours a week now, but since the fed income taxes are high that only gives him like 1k a week. Please help, I just need someone more stable financially and otherwise to tell me what to do, I feel like a child trying to fix shit that I don't have the capacity to fix, I feel so dumb and since I'm coming from being so poor, I even have to buy my own toilet paper and simple things that people grow up with and take for granted, I have such an uphill battle and now it's 10X worse and I made his life worse and that's the worst part