Relationships, and life, and how I feel it's one sided.

Captaincastle · 2013-09-02T08:09:37+00:00

Men and women both face different issues when it comes to dating and relationships. In the end, it's all about power and control. When you have the upper hand, you control the game and therefore, you have less to lose and you can change the rules instead of having to adapt to them.

From a biological point of view :

Pregnancy in humans is very costly and human babies are extremely needy for years, so women tend to be pickier.
There are several studies on the matter, so the numbers diverge, but it seems that only a third of men in history has ever reproduced (compared to 65-75% of women), so it'd be natural to see that men are more desperate to reproduce, so we could say that men are not so picky.

When you put this together, you can see how women can actually afford to be picky due to offer vs demand. There will always be a man available, while a man himself is not sure if there will be a woman for him. Women have more options and this gives them the upper hand in the dating world (it changes with time)

When you have the upper hand in a relationship, you can get away with more, which is what seems to be happening in most relationships, especially in all of those that end. One part is doing more than the other, the other gets away with more, jealousy may be just one sided, etc.

Dating can certainly feel one sided, especially when you're young, as the girl has more options and you're the one doing the big effort. However, later on it kinda changes (age, position, etc.), but the thing is, you can actually level the power balance by realizing all this and by standing strong on your feet.

So, using all your examples, you refuse to pay for all dates, buy her all those things. You find a compromise and if the other person doesn't follow it, then you know that it's not the right person for you. However, standing strong and keeping your integrity is a very attractive trait in men.

Women also face woes in dating, so it's actually recommendable to read some women forums to see what issues they are facing so you don't fall easy prey of the "grass is greener on the other side" syndrome. Again, I'm saying that dating, especially at young age, is quite one sided, but both sexes face multiple issues.

About the other things, like rape and divorce, we do really need a change in the attitude and mentality of people, so at least victims, of both sexes, don't get ostracized.

EDIT : I forgot to talk about the perceived self-value, as people with low self-value tend to have less power in a relationship and this affects equally men and women. Also, "power" in a relationship it's not about who decides where to have lunch or what movie watch, it's a lot deeper (and subtle) than that.

ReadForTheArticles · 2013-09-02T08:05:11+00:00

That's the way it is, yo. But really, there are girls who will cook for you out of their pocket, go dutch on dates, treat you on special occasions (birthday, mostly...) and so on. There has been this male role since for decades and decades... It is slowly changing, I think.

rightsbot · 2013-09-02T07:14:17+00:00

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Nomenimion · 2013-09-02T18:37:58+00:00

Not to mention things like rape. How is it automatically the guy's fault? Is it not entirely possible that the woman could be just a guilty?

If he did it it's his fault. If she made it up, obviously she is the scumbag.

ILoveHate · 2013-09-02T22:36:19+00:00

Because you got a lot out of it. Then women had their sexual revolution and abandoned their gender roles. Now you get nothing but are still expected to keep up your end of the bargain.

2013-09-02T20:35:21+00:00

I think /r/seduction offers tips on dating that help even the odds.

Title	Relationships, and life, and how I feel it's one sided.
Author	masterof80smetal
Upvotes	13
Comments	15
Date	September 2, 2013 7:13 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1lkcbx/relationships_and_life_and_how_i_feel_its_one/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/relationships-and-life-and-how-i-feel-its-one.1164902 https://theredarchive.com/post/1164902

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