I found this on one of those facebook confession pages. It was a guy who posted it but everyone in the comments thought it was a girl.

[–]crazyex 29 points30 points31 points 12 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] -27 points-26 points-25 points 12 years ago* (20 children) | Copy Link

I'm very sorry that happened to you. Taking advantage of a child is grievous and disgusting no matter the circumstances, but it's always particularly disturbing to hear that the perpetrator was a family member. I hope you're okay.

But something isn't quite right there...why would you post that information to a feminism subreddit? How was it relevant to feminism? What was your intention in posting it there? I assume there were other motives than simply sharing the story of a traumatic period in your childhood, because otherwise you wouldn't go to a feminism sub with that information...I'm curious as to the circumstances surrounding this, I couldn't find it in your post history. I don't mean to offend, but I just sort of doubt that you were banned from a feminist subreddit because you said you were molested by a woman, that doesn't really make a lot of sense...

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 12 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] -11 points-10 points-9 points 12 years ago* (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]johnmarkley 10 points11 points12 points 12 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

In fact, most feminists will tell you that society's idea of " oh boys can't be raped because all boys want sex always haha" is in itself a facet of rape culture.

If that's the case, then why, when /r/crazyex said he'd posted about his experiences with female-perpetrated sexual abuse on a feminist subreddit, was your response:

But something isn't quite right there...why would you post that information to a feminism subreddit? How was it relevant to feminism? I assume there were other motives than simply sharing the story of a traumatic period in your childhood, because otherwise you wouldn't go to a feminism sub with that information.

If feminism is really against rape culture, and feminists really consider the treatment of male victims of sexual abuse part of that rape culture, it's relevance to feminism is obvious-almost as obvious as your "I'm not saying Obama's a Muslim, I'm just asking questions" schtick.

If you and other feminists actually believe what you claim, your bewilderment as to why a man who'd been sexually abused would attempt to talk about it in a feminist space doesn't make much sense; in that case he's doing exactly what he should be doing, seeking out the people who supposedly care about him and fight for him. He wouldn't be the first man to get burned because he heard feminists claim that feminism cares about all the harms caused by traditional gender norms, and was naive enough to think they actually meant it.

[+][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

WHY IS NOBODY ADDRESSING MY QUESTION.

Do you seriously think that this guy, who has posted repeatedly not only on this sub but also TheRedPill AND has explicitly said there is no reason to work with feminists, was banned from a feminist sub because he was trying to agree with their perspective on the prevalence of rape culture and they didn't let him? Or is it POSSIBLE maybe that crazyex (an MRA and RedPill subscriber with some very obviously anti-feminist opinions) was trolling, got banned, and is blatantly misrepresenting the context of that ban in a subreddit where he knew nobody would call him out on it?

Guys. Look for some context. Be skeptical thinkers. I asked him why he would post his story in a feminist sub because his post history STRONGLY, STRONGLY, STRONGLY SUGGESTS that the only reason he would post ANYTHING in a feminist sub would to be contrary and to troll. Aren't you guys even a little bit curious too?

EDIT: I still haven't found any evidence that crazyex posted his story to a feminist sub, but I did find where he posted it to SubReddit Drama in the context of a feminism related discussion. It wound up with him claiming (no source), that feminism fights against progress for male victims, to which a helpful user linked him to a feminist website that lobbied successfully to expand the FBI's definition of rape to include male victims.

So yeah, it's looking more and more like crazyex wasn't telling the full story, and you guys just bought it without asking any questions. But my search continues now.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

work deliberately against protection for male victims

I would say that he is right when it comes females victimizing men. So they didn't go the extra step to protect males from females, only against other males.

Men's Rights Movement wasn't even involved in the lobbying at all.

Maybe because we are just a grass roots movement and when some does lobby for men's interests it goes largely ignored. For example the attempt to add a department of men's health much the one that was set up for women when Obama care passed.

It also doesn't help that when we do gather openly and publicly we are greeted with open hostility from feminist.

Just for the record so some one doesn't twist my words, I am not against the idea of a women's health department, I just want to know why men can't have one as well.

[+][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

females victimizing men

When it comes to the point that you are actually using the terms side by side, could you please try to say "women" and men? Rather than "females"? I realize you don't mean anything by it intentionally, and I can see that you used the word "males" right underneath...but...can you see how it sounds a bit creepy? "Female" isn't really used as a noun too much outside of r/Men'sRights and nature shows when referring to animals. Neither is "males", for that matter. Can you please cut that out?

That isn't really relevant, I only point it out because nothing in your response here is AT ALL relevant to my original question, which was, AGAIN: why is everybody taking crazyex at his word when his claim is so very unlikely? Why is nobody asking to see the context of his ban, or questioning that MAYBE his ban from a vague "feminist subreddit" has something to do with the apparent crusade he's on against feminism and not because feminists want to deny the existence of female child molesters????

As for departments of women's and men's health, it seems pretty obvious to me (and most people) that the establishment of a federal "Office of Women's Health" is mainly there to ensure women's rights to birth control and planned parenthood resources, furthering Obama's/the democrats pro-choice agenda. Men don't need to get abortions or pay hundred of dollars for birth control medication, hence the reason it wasn't made symmetrical in the act...BUT AGAIN, THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MY QUESTION.

[–]JustLikeJC 7 points8 points9 points 12 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]JustLikeJC 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]calvingarner 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Insomnolence_soul 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

My point is that crazyex definitely didn't get banned just for talking about how he was sexually abused as a child. Considering his post history (which, as I've demonstrated elsewhere in this thread, is pro-redpill and vocally anti-feminist), it seems HIGHLY unlikely that crazyex was just there to post about his experience with sexual assault. It probably had a lot more to do with his opinions which, among other controversial ideas, include the assertions that sex organs are property, that sometimes assault is necessary, and that social justice "warriors" are his enemy.

Do you really not understand why I don't believe his ban was just for posting a traumatic story about himself? Because that's just being willfully oblivious...There's obviously more to this story, but no one wants to hear it because it will almost certainly go against their preconceived notions of feminists. THAT other side of the story is the answer I'm trying to find.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[+][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GenderEqualityKing 26 points27 points28 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]zulu127 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]bonevil 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Winter_S 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DayDreamKiddo 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dwnvtngthdmms 8 points9 points10 points 12 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Please do, and be sure to teach your children that its not OK to be mean to someone for your own enjoyment, some boys get really screwed up by girls "just being girls", not all boys are the macho type never hurt by words or actions, to the point that they are never able to trust, they shy away from girls at a young age, which leads to social interaction problems, especially with girls, and even though they may desperately yearn for companionship with a member of the opposite sex, so much so they wake up every morning, wishing they hadn't, and go to bed every night wishing they won't, because they have been convinced that its not possible for them to have a relationship, they are conditioned into thinking that won't ever happen. All because you thought it would be funny to be mean.

I am so lonely I want to die, and it all goes back to years of abuse by one particular girl, ending with me refusing to go back to school, my education stopped there, tripping up life in general, as that can do, I tried different self education programs, even tried going back to school, but the rift my leaving school made between my father and I, turned my house into a caustic environment, and I wasn't ever able to get the feeling of being in control of my own life back enough, still today, I feel powerless, helpless, I've been to therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, life coaches, was put on so many antidepressents it fundamentally changed who I was, and destroying what little life I had built up for myself, nothing has removed that feeling of worthlessness I developed at the hands of Krista.

Is everything her fault? Of course not, I take responsibility for my actions, I know this is the life I have made for myself, however that happened, but I cant help but wonder how things might have turned out different, I was a bright kid, capable, athletic, top of my classes academically, I had dreams... I could have contributed to this world.

So teach your kids, its not OK to treat someone badly, what they think of as a funny moment, may be incredibly painful and hurtful to someone else, for a long long time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]1standarduser -5 points-4 points-3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[+]fireinthedarkness -22 points-21 points-20 points 12 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]andromeda154 9 points10 points11 points 12 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

While I do know why you're being down voted I don't really think it's fair that you should be. I'm no expert but I spent a lot of my degree doing textual analysis. I was searching for a clue to the gender of the writer through most of this. For reasons I won't bore you with, I was thinking male from the start, the language/expression "sounds" male. He was playing with toy cars, though that in itself isnt definitive it added to my belief that the writer was male.In the final sentences when the writer speaks of being in relationships with girls there is an indication that the writer is male but to rule out the possibility that the writer is a lesbian completely in this world of diverse sexual preferences would be a mistake. I don't think from the text you could completely rule out either gender. This being said it is however an example of a widespread preconception that women are victims (yet also offenders here) which biased the FB response. The issue is how "we fill the gaps" and by choosing to believe it's a female writer we fill the gaps with our preconceptions, mistaken or otherwise.

Regardless of gender this is just such a sad story. If it's true (and it's the forum, not the gender which makes me question veracity) this man desperately needs help and support. Sadly, because of his gender, he will find it that much harder to reach out for it. I only hope that this anonymous confession was the first step to telling someone (a doctor,a counsellor) who can help him get the help he desperately needs. The scars of childhood trauma,sexual or otherwise, are deep. I don't know whether you're ever completely fixed but you can certainly be helped and no one should suffer in shame and silence.

[–]duglock 2 points3 points4 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points-3 points 12 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]andromeda154 0 points1 point2 points 12 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LokisDawn 5 points6 points7 points 12 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]andromeda154 1 point2 points3 points 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 12 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm no expert but I spent a lot of my degree doing textual analysis.

See, my issue is that this sentence is serving as "I'm no expert, but I'm closer to one than you". At least, that was the impression I was left with when you went on to point out some rather obvious observations later, as if many of us would be unable to draw the same meaning out.

There is a great deal to my degree; gained at one of the universities in the top 3% globally.

And yet, here you are sounding like an elitist again.

I did not realise that a female commenting in MR in support of men would be the target of such a snide criticism.

And the gender card is cheap. I was not conscious of your gender when I made my comment. Don't play the victim of "oh, hey, look! I'm a woman and I'm on your side! Don't criticize me!"

Title	I found this on one of those facebook confession pages. It was a guy who posted it but everyone in the comments thought it was a girl.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	166
Comments	36
Date	August 9, 2013 12:59 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1k0tx9/i_found_this_on_one_of_those_facebook_confession/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-found-this-on-one-of-those-facebook-confession.1166775 https://theredarchive.com/post/1166775

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