Do you ever feel like the child support issue kind of drives a barrier between meeting your dad? Sometimes I kind of feel like "he must hate me" because having left, he probably didn't want to be a part of, or financially support, my life. I feel like if fathers didn't have to pay, there wouldn't be this barrier, and maybe more kids might actually want to approach their dads without feeling guilty for their mother's decision to fine him?

On the flip side, a question for fathers who had to pay child support who have no contact with your offspring: does this ever weigh in? I think a lot of the time we can realize thinking is a bit irrational (shifting blame from the one who actually chooses) but still feel hostility in spite of that. Do you ever feel like the kid owes you a debt?

On another flip side, a Q for fathers who didn't pay child support: do you ever fear getting involved with your kids because of fear they might hate you for not offering financial support? It seems unreasonable since it wasn't your choice to have them, but since some kids do feel that way (I know I did for a decade or so based on familial female conditioning until I thought more critically about it) feeling consternation about that is pretty realistic I guess.