I open up and then I'm told shit

Threadgood · 2023-03-08T23:58:49+00:00

It sounds to me like the people in your life are the toxic ones. I’m sorry you’re being shot down every time you share an honest opinion. You’re allowed to not like makeup. That doesn’t make you homophobic. What a wild twist. I wouldn’t share anything more with people calling me a liar for having an opinion that differs from theirs.

LoveTheGiraffe · 2023-03-09T03:28:59+00:00

Yeh it's the "no, not like that!" kind of thing. It's more of what people think they would want rather than what they actually want. It's not uncommon for those people who push you towards opening up, to stick a knife in your back afterwards. The good people will give you space and give you the option of opening up, but won't push yoi towards that.

That's like someone saying they wanna date a rockstar, but they just romanticize the idea of having a famous partner. They don't want them to always be on tour, have groupies, spend time writing and recording songs, etc. Basically they don't want what they say, they want a tiny and romanticized idea of what they are saying. When women ask men to be more open emotionally, they often times just want men to more emotionally there for themselves.

Many men I know where told to open up and when they did, they got broken up with directly or shortly after. A lot of women still think men have no problems, so they expect you to share minor shit, but when you let them in on all the weight on your shoulders, they bounce. Because they can't fathom that their guy who they think is strong for them, has suicidal thoughts, thinks he's not good enoug, etc. There are a lot of good women and men, good people in general, out there who are emotionally mature. But those people don't say shit like "men should just open up more". Don't listen to people's words, listen to their actions.

Cyb3rd31ic_Citiz3n · 2023-03-09T06:33:30+00:00

They're in disbelief that you have issues. They're the toxic ones. You're doing something brave and rebellious by talking about your problems and feelings as a man. They can't handle that.

The danger for you is that you'll shut down and not open up again, which many men do. You need to push on regardless of their opinions. Do it for you and the men who come after you, not them.

McBoom0 · 2023-03-09T09:13:57+00:00

At the end of the day. Do what you think it's right. But to do that. You need to discard what masculinity and feminity is, find your own answer in your own understanding.

I cry. Not in front of people. Not because "it's brave to cry in public" the people that tells you only know half of the info. It is brave to accept your feeling.

1MoonRising1 · 2023-03-09T14:05:47+00:00

I agree with Threadgood, I've learned that though people will ask your opinion and act like they genuinely care about how you feel or what you say it's almost all the time bullshit. Please correct me if I'm wrong, but only you genuinely care about your emotions. to avoid fake or noncaring responses just validate yourself and your emotions. try to observe who is sympathetic towards your feelings and who isn't and keep them at a distance. As a man I feel masculine and feminine traits are being used to confuse us about ourselves and how other people view us. another reason I believe that so many men have emotional and mental issues they have no way to vent.

Title	I open up and then I'm told shit
Author	Ethnicallybisexual1
Upvotes	35
Comments	8
Date	March 8, 2023 11:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MenSupportMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensupportmen/comments/11mbaqr/i_open_up_and_then_im_told_shit/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MenSupportMen/i-open-up-and-then-im-told-shit.1173115 https://theredarchive.com/post/1173115

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