This comment was in response to question: "Do women think that men who can't get laid are "bad"?"

Alright so lets teach you about abuse education.

I've been present in online relationship discussions for fifteen years now. A trend that started then and that you can still see in /r/relationships is people coming and asking "Is this abuse? Is this ok?" and discussions as to what is and is not abusive behavior have been taking place for more than a decade now.

These conversations developed their own meta. Agreed upon rules of relationships. Much of these conversations were women talking about what they will and won't put up with.

And the ideas spread. Women began adopting the same dealbreakers, supporting each other out of abusive relationships... women became informed about predatory patterns and how and when to avoid them.

Suddenly a huge swath of men both good looking and not are going without dates.

Now, there's an inequality in the seeking of sex. Women will identify shitty men and even if he's hot and good in bed lots of women won't go anywhere near him.

Men don't do the same. Men will date and fuck shitty women if they're openly sexual and physically attractive. Our standards for women's personalities, thanks to objectification, are basically on the floor.

The reason we talk about men being shitty dudes and not getting laid is because it's a very real trend. Lots of people in the incel community, specifically, are guys who aren't datable because the meta of relationship education has taught the average woman that traits that these guys often publicly display are instant deal breakers.

Some men are going to fall off. The truth of it is is that when your society is going through social change like ours is some people will not adapt to that change and will get left behind.

It's not about just world fallacy. It's about certain characteristics of predatory and abusive men being shared widely (though obviously not universally) and men with these characteristics are finding themselves up against a dating pool armed and equipped to handle their bullshit.

At the same time, remember women aren't a monolith. They have individual desires and judgment. So one woman may have a thing be a dealbreaker and another its just a red flag.

It's not that men are "expected" to work harder. It's that men have low standards for women's behavior almost as a rule and so they walk into dating unprepared to meet higher standards than they themselves have.

But this is reality. Women have the right to refuse to have anything to do with you just like you have the right to have anything to do with them. It wouldn't feel so inequal if men didn't constantly act so desperate.

What do you think about this all?