Odd encounter, need advice

Stayinghereforreal · 2014-02-24T16:52:12+00:00

Nah, I would not sweat it. Because you are far away, she is able to idolize you as the perfect guy. She has put onto you all her hopes and fantasies as to what her ideal man would be like. She does not know much about you, except that she was attracted to you and you had to go away for a bit.

Actually kind of normal for people. When you get back, and if you two start dating, she will snap out of it, most likely, and start to see you as a real person.

throwwhatthere · 2014-02-24T20:52:24+00:00

Dude. I've had girls like this. FWIW this is my experience:

1) Anyone who idolizes you that much isn't in love with you, but with their idealization that they have conveniently found they can project onto you.

2) This idealization feels great, and you want to ride it. Enjoy!

3) The idealization creates a brittle attachment. The more she gets to see that you are a real person, the harder it becomes for her to project her idealization onto you.

4) When she eventually knows you well enough, she will leave you, because you cannot live up to the dream she's looking for. It'd be like if you met and dated an 8, but only because you were convinced she was a ten. As the push-up and makeup and fitness start to decline over the course of the relationship, you start to have buyers remorse and think, "Damn it, I wanna go out there an get me a real ten." And because you have had that feeling of getting a ten (in your own mind) already, you are certain you can do it again. This is what she will experience with you. She will be wrong, but that won't stop her.

My recommendation: Enjoy fucking the shit out of her. Tread very carefully and be as emotionally distant as possible. She'll actually prefer it that way. Keep in mind this thing almost definitely has a hard shelf-life. When things start getting difficult, just next her quick. Enjoy the ride till then.

purecyse · 2014-02-24T17:43:39+00:00

My problem with this story is, outside of meeting her on OKCupid and all the weird things that came of it (meeting her parents already?!), you didn't sleep with her. So, you're burning time on a young lady that you can't be sure that you even like.

Now, with intimate knowledge of how the military and military spouses work, your spider-sense shouldn't be screaming about how crazy she might be. That doesn't really matter if things turn out casual and you practice safe sex.

What you SHOULD be worried about is becoming the meal ticket for some chick that uses a dating website, still stays with her parents (for whatever reason) and is making a suspiciously big push to be your girl.

If she locks you down, she gets to leave her parent's house, get automatic financial security as long as you're in the military, gets automatic military benefits while dealing with a guy that doesn't really have time to be spinning too many plates due to long periods of being away on regular deployments.

She's not as crazy as she is, potentially, cunning. There is no downside, for her, in making a big push to appear all for you. Even if your sex game is TERRIBLE, she can find better while you're out there in the world.

I'm not trying to down her or any situation you could imagine yourself in with her but, I've seen too many military horror stories, personally and by hearsay, to not recognize the signs of a chick hoping for a come-up.

You make this chick prove herself and prove herself again....then you hold out a little bit longer and watch whether she steps up to be a woman who cooks, cleans, washes clothes, etc. to find a place in your life or stays a girl who acts like she can always return to her parent's house if you don't make HER happy.

TL;DR: Don't get stupid. It's clear that you're the prize to be won in this situation. Play the long game.

[deleted] · 2014-02-24T17:40:55+00:00

Honestly? This reminds me of my first relationship.

Everything was great. She did everything you could ask her to and when asked why she just said I made her feel validated.

What happened?

Eventually she seeked other guys that validated her because I wasnt enough.

Just putting this out there in case it is a similar situation, its best to be prepared for anything

JP_Whoregan · 2014-02-24T19:29:13+00:00

Even though you are on deployment and really have no choice in the matter, she is getting gina tingles because of a forced situation of dread game/forced scarcity.

That being said, she sounds like a stage 5 clinger. Do you advertise your military credentials on OKCupid? Because if you do, take them down. A lot of girls will actively seek out military guys to lock down, because as you know, the benefits to a military wife are varied and many. She may be more attracted to the housing, medical insurance, your guaranteed paycheck, and the opportunity to sloot around while you are deployed.

[deleted] · 2014-02-24T20:40:44+00:00

It seems she's the one putting you on a pedestal. Congratulations.

Capitalize on that as soon and as much as possible because you're not going to be up there forever.

gt35r · 2014-02-24T16:47:19+00:00

The beat material she gave you, take a good look at those pictures. Because that is the last time you will see her, seriously though she sounds like cut your dick off while you sleep crazy.

Title	Odd encounter, need advice
Author	Zefwano
Upvotes	7
Comments	14
Date	February 24, 2014 4:35 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1ysznf/odd_encounter_need_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/odd-encounter-need-advice.11784 https://theredarchive.com/post/11784

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