I can’t tell if my [22 F] boyfriend [24 M] is a captain?

2019-01-14T16:18:36+00:00

You sure seem hell bound on money...I think your bf is a captain because he's supportive of his family AND his gf... his situation is very delicate with very little options. Is he planning on continuing supporting his family? If he doesn't, who will?From what you are saying, he already has dependents but it feels like you wish you'd add to his list by being a stay at home mom but thankfully you have plans for a more realistic solution.

I am in no mean trying to be an asshole but all of this is not looking good at all. Not sure if your main concern right now should be is he a captain or not ;/

I mean, you need to figure out what the plans is with his disabled family and figure out yourself if you want to HELP HIM or not. Very delicate situation when it involves other people in need.

Icantthinkofanayme · 2019-01-14T17:31:49+00:00

Forget about the jargon, the question you should be asking is whether he is the right man for you or not. That's vetting. We cannot vet him for you. Every member of this sub likely has a different idea of "captain".

What qualities are you looking for in a man. What sort of character should he have. What values?
What are his red or yellow flags? Are you willing to accept that these things may not change?

It sounds like you are focusing on his financial situation over and above everything else. You can meet a man who makes six figures and is a weak pushover or an abusive jerk. While there are reasons to consider his long term career prospects and income, that's simply not the be all end all of a good man.

ragnarockette · 2019-01-14T18:10:42+00:00

$60K is a very nice salary if you are the type (and it sounds like he is!) that is really savvy with money. My girlfriend is married to a public servant who makes around this much, but they always have money to travel, go out to eat, etc. because he is a smart investor and plays the “points game” with credit cards.

It doesn’t sound like you’re sure you want to stay home anyway, and have a career in mind.

And you’re very young. My husband was 25 when we met and was a starving musician with no plans to change that. Fast forward 7 years and he has a completely different career with a ton of financial stability. The love and support of a great woman helps men reach their true potential, and at 24 I doubt he’s reached his “final form” yet.

2019-01-14T17:11:52+00:00

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Hannelore010 · 2019-01-14T16:21:32+00:00

Would you live in Florida when you married? Could you move to someplace in the area that has a lower cost of living? Are your family in FL? I think it’s very doable to be a stay at home wife for 7 years or so on $60k, then return to working part time when the kids enter school, boosting your income to $80-$90k (I don’t know how much you make)

Who will care for his parents when he marries you? Is he intending to move them to the states?Or are you intending to move there? If so, perhaps you’re right that staying at home would not be an option

How did you meet?

London is one of the most expensive cities in the world. If he’s from there and grew up there, and with no other familial obligations, I can understand his being the one to care for his parents. But I don’t know if it’s the best place to raise a family on his income (maybe some English people can chime in)

Will he be happy not living in a big city? People I know who grow up in a major metropolis get pretty melancholy for city life.

pearlsandstilettos · 2019-01-14T17:32:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I can’t tell if my [22 F] boyfriend [24 M] is a captain?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	12
Date	January 14, 2019 4:00 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/afx69q/i_cant_tell_if_my_22_f_boyfriend_24_m_is_a_captain/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/i-cant-tell-if-my-22-f-boyfriend-24-m-is-a-captain.1182555 https://theredarchive.com/post/1182555

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