Hey all,

It's been a while since this event has happened, but it continues to bother me to this day. I figured I'd share it here to perhaps make me feel better by getting it off my chest, and hopefully helping someone out going through a similar situation.

Please note, this event took place within the last five years, at a top 10 private school in the United States. I won't get anymore specific than that as I do not wish to be identified, but I figured I would provide as much context as I feel comfortable doing so.

Story:

This happened when I was an undergraduate student at college. At the time, I was a pretty high up member of the school (top grades, top job out of undergrad, played a huge role in extracurricular and student council life, etc). I was a 4th year student preparing to graduate, when I met a girl.

I had no interest in this girl, but she had an interest in me. One night, I was out at a friend's party, and she somehow was there too (she had no business being there, was there alone, and I think she must have figured I was going). She proceeded to make an advance on me, and I respectfully told her off, and that I did not wish to have any relationship with anyone at this time (neither a one-night stand, or something more long term). I knew my position at the college meant I couldn't do many things people did, and that included getting incredibly drunk, hooking up with random people, or doing drugs. Those were the primary reasons I turned her away.

Anyway, a week later, I get a message from the college that I was suspended, and that I am required to resign from my position immediately due to raping a girl. I was absolutely shocked. At the time, I did not connect it with the original girl from that party, because there was absolutely NOTHING that could be taken as rape. The e-mail did not provide me with who the victim was, and I was told an investigation is currently underway.

Of course, I resigned. The newspaper for the college immediately wrote on article on my resignation. About a week passed, and I still was not contacted by the university to provide my side of the story. An additional week later, I was told that they, on the balance of probabilities, have found me responsible for raping this individual. Please note, at this time, I was STILL not told who the "victim" was. The reason for this: Her safety and confidentiality. I was also told that the college has a responsibility to notify student employer(s) of such findings. I had gotten a job (a top job with a starting salary of $160K in my industry) through the college career program.

At this time, my consequences were that I was not allowed to be on campus after certain hours, or at any campus events. I was not allowed to be involved in any campus activities/clubs. My employer reached out to me stating they are "investigating" and would be in touch within a week.

The hits kept coming: I found out from a friend that the newspaper was writing an article titled "The Asian _________." I refrain from filling in the blank, but the blank contains the name of a known, white rapist at another college. I am also Asian. At this point, my life was on the brink of destruction. And get this: I still did not know who this woman was, and believe it or not, I didn't even think it could be her. Apparently, everyone knew who it was, except for me...

Now a day later, my friend identified who the female was, and I was shocked. Additionally, the contents of the article where described to me, with things like: "The victim did not get a rape kit done because her rapist told her if she did, he would harm her." Something to that effect. My school is incredibly liberal, and I would be FINISHED if this article came out.

I began to plot my suicide, because everything was being taken away from me, and whatever was left, was on its way out (i.e. my job). One day before my planned suicide, two students came forward reporting the "victim", stating that they received messages from her stating I never did it, that she was doing it because she felt that "too many rapists get away with it", and that she felt like she needed to make an example out of someone.

I marched my ass into the college's misconduct office, and demanded I see the highest representative immediately. I explained the situation, and she immediately made some calls. Within 2 hours, my slate was wiped clean at the university. I marched over to the newspaper publication, and demanded that article is removed/deleted immediately, and that if it was not, I would sue for defamation the second it saw the light of day.

What happened to the "victim?" I have absolutely no idea -- she withdrew from the college shortly (not sure if temporarily, or permanently), and basically no one knows about what she did aside from a few people. Thankfully, no one knows about what I did, except for a few people as well. However, I live with the consequences to this day: I cannot trust anyone, I immediately push anyone away who touches me, I get triggered when someone mentions sexual assault, and I am worried I will one day wake up to an article form a larger newspaper publication describing her false story.

As we have all seen, the legal system isn't my biggest fear: It is the court of public opinion. I have no doubt I would never be found guilty criminally, but publically, all it takes is for this story to break, and once it does, it doesn't matter if I try to explain my side of it, and how this person falsely accused me.

So yeah, that's my story briefly. AMA!