UK: Mother-of-three fails in her court bid to have her banker ex-husband jailed for not paying her rent and their children's private school fees. Never get married.

thrway_1000 · 2018-07-27T09:42:18+00:00

Marriage is a raw deal in this day and age.

Galaxine · 2018-07-27T14:12:27+00:00

There was a time and place for alimony, and it is long past. 75 years ago when very few women worked outside the home after marriage... sure. A 44 year old divorced woman in like 1938 would have been impoverished, especially if she had 4 or 5 children. But, as women have transitioned into the workforce there is much less need.

Maybe a stay at home parent (mom or dad) should get a year or two of spousal support while they transition into the workforce. I could see that as fair, especially in situations where they had been out of the workforce for several years.

Nobody is entitled to a standard of living. Sure, seeing kids fed and clothed no matter where they live is key. But, 50/50 custody should be the norm. No child support. If one parent struggles, a good parent should say hey- let me send a couple bags of groceries back with our son. I'll pay for our daughter's tennis shoes etc. Taking care of their wellbeing is more important than spiting an ex. And seeing adults act like adults will be a good role model for the kids.

For my husband and I, marriage is an important part of our faith. A sacrament. But, we didn't jump into it. We took most of a decade building a friendship, dating, falling in love, and going through premarital counseling. Catholics get one shot. Divorce is a no go for us. And we treated marriage as a serious, important, and binding choice. Full disclosure. Of his student loan debt. My potential infertility. Food allergies. Past misdeeds. And so on.

I have watched friends divorce after whirlwind courtships of a few months leading to quick marriages. After finding out their wife was cheating. Their husband had 2 kids he never told her about.

I'm not going to support the don't get married part of your post. I'd say to be careful, don't rush into it. Consider, communicate, meditate, and think on it for a long, long time. Love and lust make us do things that we regret or don't fully think through.

But I absolutely agree that our courts are screwed up when it comes to men and custody and in divorces.

2018-07-27T17:36:44+00:00

Just to ask,Is it better for a Male to Buy an Egg and do surrogacy to have kids than to marry a woman?

thedarkestchocolate · 2018-07-27T18:56:42+00:00

"never get married" Canadian over here. Wish me luck lads.

2018-07-28T11:54:17+00:00

I don't live in the US. My boyfriend and me researched marriage, and there is literally zero benefit in it for either of us here.

If we marry and one of us loses their job, the other party will be forced to pay for them.If we're not married, the state pays for all basic living expenses if one of us loses their job, as it should be in a social welfare state.

So yeah, that was not a hard decision, but I was very surprised to not come across a single benefit. Tax breaks? Only works if one partner makes much less than the other. Right to visit partner in ICU and make decisions in their place? Patient's provision. Since neither of us wants children, custody for an unmarried father is no issue either.

superzepto · 2018-07-27T08:29:43+00:00

"Never get married", OK. Keep practising that one.

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