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How a lack of touch is destroying men. The most important article on men's mental health I've read in a long while.

otermodus

July 20, 2018
170 upvotes
/r/MensRights
https://upliftconnect.com/how-lack-touch-destroying-men/
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Post Information
Title How a lack of touch is destroying men. The most important article on men's mental health I've read in a long while.
Author

otermodus

Upvotes 170
Comments 21
Date July 20, 2018 12:54 PM UTC
(8 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/90fqf1/how_a_lack_of_touch_is_destroying_men_the_most/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-a-lack-of-touch-is-destroying-men-the-most.1186158
https://theredarchive.com/post/1186158

Comments

[–]Lethn 27 points28 points29 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a stereotype, ironically, it is a 'harmful' one that feminists often love perpetrating. I feel like the writer has mixed things up here, the majority of men do not have issues expressing themselves or emotionally connecting that's incorrect what is correct is that they are not allowed to.

We have been told we are potential threats in all manners, if we try get closer to women we're rapists, if we try to bond with children we're peadophiles, that is the real problem with society today.

It's not men that are the issue here, it is the fault of a society that has openly adopted an ideology that encourages people to hate men.

[–]VoxVirilis 12 points13 points14 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Here's a post I made about a month ago about this topic.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

A lot of things were put into perspective for me by reading this. Thank you!

[–]otermodus[S] 4 points5 points6 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

It put a lot of things into perspective for me too, this comment is exactly what i was looking for when i posted this. I'd be interrested to hear examples of what you realized, if it is not too taxing to share.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

My dad never really gave affection. I got it mostly from my mom. From that, I must've concluded that men touching men is wrong. By adolescence, I didn't give or receive any touch from anyone. I remember times where I would purposefully avoid any contact during any type of social gathering. I believe it led, in part, to my introverted nature. I was always so afraid to touch people, even though I craved it. I used to imagine myself broken down and crying with someone just holding me, and I gained a sensation of what I was missing and desired. At the time, I thought I was just being weak. I see now how I inferred this from my upbringing and how wrong I was. It also helps to explain some of my trust issues and how I believe other people to be filled with ill intent. Even now, I crave touch from strangers. Damn, this brought up a lot of old feelings.

[–]otermodus[S] 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel you, brother. I'd say that now that it's back in your perspective, you have power over it. I'm not saying breaking the circle is an easy task though. I hope the old feeling can help you grow, instead of pulling you down. This made me think of a song by one of my favourite musicians, Tommy Tokyo. The song is called The circle must be broken.

I'd like to match your openheartedness. To me this article made me look at the paths i've chosen as a consequence of this aspect of our culture. I kind of went the opposite direction, i suspect because I'm an extrovert. I felt pretty early that sex was a way to justify or validate my existence. And so I cultivated a body and mind that I thought a woman would want, so that I could be touched. For a couple of years, I'd be pretty close to a nymphomaniac. I also chose to pursue contact sports to mend what i felt i was lacking. Boxing, rugby and Brazilian Jiu jitsu. I feel my circle started breaking once i did MDMA my first time. I started opening up about past traumas and started hugging more. I realized i did not need constant sex to validate my existence, and that this mindset had hurt some good people in my wake. And recently, I've noticed that my Eritrean friend is super casual about touching his friends in a friendly and platonic way. I feel like i can learn something from him.

[–]mwobuddy -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Its funny because this isnt a male rights issue directly, but it is an incel issue and everyone hates it like crazy that this is a reality.

[–]thrway_1000 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Alienating men more and more. That seems the fruit of feminism.

Archive -- https://archive.is/QOHbK

[–]The_Best_01 5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I can definitely relate to this. I've been depressed for a long time mainly because I'm really lacking intimacy. It's hard to find people who are willing to share it without it leading to something sexual, though I'd be happy with that too.

Social isolation hurts all the time. :(

[–]Mythandros 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

I feel ya.

I suffer the same in silence.

Some days it just gets so... lonely.

Sleep helps. A little.

[–]The_Best_01 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

Honestly, I often cry myself to sleep. So it doesn't help that much. I try to distract myself though.

Hopefully, we'll both meet great people someday.

[–]Mythandros 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

I never cry myself to sleep, but being lonely is nearly as bad. Mostly, I just feel numb. But that comes from other things I also have to deal with in my life.

[–]The_Best_01 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I feel empty too, that's part of why I'm hurting so much. Take care.

[–]Mythandros 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You too. Things will get better. ☺

[–]The_Best_01 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I hope so.

[–]bertiebees 1 point2 points3 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

High five!

[–]elebrin 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, that's great as long as you don't touch me.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

My experience is that it is even hard to find male friends who are decent and honest.

[–]mwobuddy 3 points4 points5 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

You probably need to stop dumpster diving in the human gene pool.

[–]omegaphallic -1 points0 points1 point 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This why sex workers are vital to society, we need to deshame the occupation and those who need it's services.

[+]mwobuddy -31 points-30 points-29 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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