Brothers, I'm ranting here as an attempt to NOT engage with my STBX in something that will not do any good. So I am blowing the steam here instead.

If you have seen my previous posts you know she cheated on me. It was lame. She's still with the dude as far as I know but I really make it none of my business just like at this point my romantic life is none of hers. Still, there are triggers and resentments that because this is fresh are easy to bring to the surface.

She makes comments on social media (I follow her mainly out of morbid curiosity still but also to catch anything she might say that i can use against her if I need to). He Affair partner has blocked me on Twitter because he is a redpill, racist, trump follower and my STBX is as frickin liberal as they come. Had I spoken the way he does ever she would have absolutely left me.

Today, my youngest was cleaning out his backpack and handed me another man's swimsuit that my STBX gave him to give to me because she I guess didn't know whose it was. Seriously, she sent another man's clothes home with our 11 year old and didn't expect that to trigger me at all?

I texted her and simply asked her not to send me another man's clothing anymore. She accused me of always thinking the worst of her - well she did the worst so why wouldn't I think that? The only thing she hasn't done is actually take my home from me - YET - we'll see how that goes in due time.

It's rich that SHE comments that she is disgusted with me that I would think she was being so insensitive on purpose. I didn't really think she was doing it on purpose - I just know she can't seem to empathize with me so why should I expect her to understand my triggers. She says she wants to be friends but I can't be friends with someone who is so oblivious. I'm the disgusting one? Good fucking lord.

She says I always assume the worst of her - well she did the worst right? She cheated on me, I caught her and then when I made room for reconciliation she literally continued her affair right in front of me. How can I NOT assume the worst of her FROM NOW ON? Trust is earned lady and you simply have not done that. You've destroyed everything we had and you're too self involved to see it - now that we have been apart I can see the red flags and the narcissism from literally when we first moved in together almost 20 years ago. I'll never make that mistake again and I will never trust YOU again.