Getting over somebody

HaveALittleGrace · 2023-04-03T16:22:02+00:00

This can be really hard, but I rarely have issues like this unless I was really bonded with them, so apologies if I'm not hitting the mark here. My remedy that was offered by my therapist was basically to counter those thoughts with ACT-based ones: "It's over now and that's okay", "I can't control that we're no longer together", "Some people are only meant to be in our lives temporarily", "It's okay that I felt a little something about her, but we both need to move on", etc. Basically you want to "finalize" it in your head as much as possible. Do you have OCD or anything that might be preventing you from moving on?

Chemical-Quote-7082 · 2023-04-03T16:46:49+00:00

I recommend going to the gym, a hike, or on a run. Or, if you are so blessed, go kayaking or spelunking or rock climbing. Do something that occupies your mind and makes you feel positive and strong, and takes the focus off those negative residual emotions that are just gonna do to you what they do to everyone: stick around until they don't.

Edit: journaling can help too. You can admit to yourself that this person had qualities you want to see again and accept that.

TheStormzo · 2023-04-03T19:59:38+00:00

Real question is why the hell are u so attached to somone that wasn't serious.

Maybe you need some therapy?

Just do some shit u like and have fun.

Dahks · 2023-04-03T21:05:45+00:00

How old are you? The first love deceptions and bad and, there's no way around this, you will suffer for them. That is a normal aspect of life: accepting that someone else doesn't correspond your feelings, having a bad time and then moving on (maybe you'll learn something in the process, maybe not).

I don't think is good that you try to suppress what you feel. Talking about it (with friends or someone you trust) is always good, not with a mindset of "how do we fix the painful emotions" but with a mindset of "I want to express myself and discover what I feel". Just don't try to be someone you're not: if you've never been to the gym or went hiking then that will not help you, that's just some general advice people say when they don't know anything about anyone's life.

Title	Getting over somebody
Author	CheetahMinimum7290
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	April 3, 2023 4:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/12ap2lj/getting_over_somebody/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/getting-over-somebody.1206981 https://theredarchive.com/post/1206981

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