So… is withholding sex RPW?

jayval90 · 2022-05-12T16:47:25+00:00

There are different schools of thought on this topic specifically, and certainly the traditional view of waiting on sex till a commitment/marriage falls within the Overton Window here. But there is a broader window of acceptability expressed here that is perhaps more controversial, but it is all encapsulated in the idea that you should be realistic about what you are getting.

However, another problem with the idea of "withholding" sex is that it implies you view it as a transaction from you to the man, which is problematic if you want a good and functional relationship. This puts you on adversarial terms with your partner. Fine maybe for a one-night stand, not fine for building a committed relationship that will last through thick and thin.

2022-05-12T15:11:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SunshineSundress · 2022-05-12T19:40:32+00:00

The topic of “when should I have sex with a man” has always been a controversial one, even here. Because there are so many factors at play, there is no one-size-fits-all answer for everyone. Rules like “have sex on date 3” or “wait 90 days” are silly in practice. Generalizations like ALL women have to wait until marriage or engagement may work for some women but may not create the best outcomes for others. It is a highly individual decision that only YOU can make for yourself.

However, while there are certainly valid reasons to delay sex (whether it’s until you’re in a relationship, engaged, or married), withholding sex for the sole sake of compelling a man to commit is not one of them. Like other people have mentioned, it creates a transactional and adversarial relationship, which is never good and certainly not something that is endorsed by RPW.

Essentially, it is dangling sex over a man’s head like a carrot on a stick. Sure, it’ll work in the short term to make a man give you what you want (commitment), but it also begs the question: when you inevitably do have to give him the carrot, what exactly do you have left to inspire his commitment? It places the focus on something unsustainable (sex for the first time, which can only be given once), rather than on developing the traits that can continually inspire commitment. Also, it makes an ass out of the man, and do you really want your Captain, the man you trust to lead you and depend upon, to be a simple ass so easily manipulated?

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That being said, I’ve written pretty extensively about how to figure out when the best time to have sex is for you. I’ve also written about why I personally didn’t withhold sex and why the “why buy the cow when the milk is free” idiom is outdated and inaccurate in today’s age. Let me know if you want me to dive deeper into these topics!

aigars2 · 2022-05-12T19:57:40+00:00

It doesn't work. A modern man [pretty much anyone younger than 40] will just move on. LoL.

It just shouldn't be like "I'm open for sex it says on my forehead".

pearlsandstilettos · 2022-05-12T15:18:52+00:00

Calling u/sunshinesundress

Title	So… is withholding sex RPW?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	10
Date	May 12, 2022 2:35 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/uo2j0o/so_is_withholding_sex_rpw/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/so-is-withholding-sex-rpw.1209904 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209904

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