Background info: married for 10 years, have four kids together, and I’m in my early 40s. We have always had great sexual chemistry and although our frequency ebbs and flows, we’re having sex on average a 2-3 times a week. Otherwise marriage is a 7/10. We fight some but overall we both love each other and are on the same “team” so to speak, which is not something I see in most couples we interact with.

I dabbled with TRP over a decade ago and learned quite a bit, but never truly delved into it. I haven’t done a lot of reading on MRP and implemented strategies but know that it works. That said, I do a lot of what is recommended here anyway in terms of frame, exercise, leading, etc. That leads me to my question…

We’re all but decided we’re done having kids. Four kids is a lot to handle and I don’t think I want to add another. My wife feels the same but we’re both aware of the issues with female BC, and we don’t like condoms.

I’m not opposed to a vasectomy but whenever she brings it up i don’t like the way it’s being framed. She says things about how pregnancy puts her body through so much l yet for me it would be this quick procedure. My gut says I need to decide whether I want one and if so, reframe this discussion as me making this decision for the family, etc., and try to reframe AWAY from “you really wanted me to do this so I’ll go do it now.” If I decide I do t want one, then I don’t even know how to approach that convo.

For reference, in the event I got divorced I can’t be 100% certain I wouldn’t want another kid, but I also can’t imagine having a baby in my 50s. No thanks.

Am I on the right track here?

Any advice appreciated.