Tip of the day. Evolve your vocabulary.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-04-08T14:13:10+00:00

Mindset is a huge component of divorce that most men don't address.

If I could add one reddit feature for this sub, it would be automatically substituting "visitation" and "timesharing" for "parenting time". You "visit" people in jail; you don't "visit" your kids. "Timesharing" is a type of property. You are their father, and "parenting time" is the appropriate phrase.

AudreyTooTwo · 2023-04-08T17:04:24+00:00

When I began to see myself identified as "The Defendant" in court documents, I insisted that I instead be called "The Resistance".

I thought it was funny, but no one cared.

OP, I agree on "visitation". Prisoners get visitation. A father with visitation is, by definition, A VISITOR in his children's lives.

There was a study, but I'm too lazy to go look for it now, that said men who had the "standard possession order" (God, I hate that phrase), which is every other weekend, tend to fall out of their children's lives over time. I believe it. Something like 40% of men lose contact with their kids within five years when they only have every other weekend; it jumps to something like 60% over ten years.

Also, one last gripe: I've seen some men here agree to a co-parenting plan only to realize later it's not as good as they thought. For the purposes of child support and custody calculations, the courts often use overnights as the only yardstick. But, like I said, some men were tricked into agreeing to getting their kids on Friday night and giving them back on Monday morning. Technically, it's three nights. If repeated every week, that's 43% custody. Not bad, right? It's almost 50/50. But when you look carefully at the times, dad is really only getting 25% of their awake hours.

I tell ya, everything is a scam. There should presumed 50/50. This "every other weekend" bullshit is a relic from the horrible 1980s. Has NOTHING progressed?

ranger69danger · 2023-04-08T23:40:07+00:00

Words and their specific meanings matter so much in this realm. Thank you for sharing some knowledge.

Title	Tip of the day. Evolve your vocabulary.
Author	throwingit_all_away
Upvotes	17
Comments	3
Date	April 8, 2023 2:05 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/12fn4n7/tip_of_the_day_evolve_your_vocabulary/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/tip-of-the-day-evolve-your-vocabulary.1213703 https://theredarchive.com/post/1213703

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