As far as divorce goes I shouldnt complain. She's being kind to me separating but still helping me financially if need be. Leaving important instructions for how to pay for bills and she still loves me and doesn't hate me but hates our current situation and her path in life with me was holding her back from truly living.

I guess I still care so much about her that instead of taking that generosity and completely wanting to ruin her I want to uplift her by letting go.

I was blessed to celebrate 8 years this April but I was too preoccupied to plan anything or do anything truly special. I don't even remember the day that's bad I let things get.

The years slipped by and I stayed in a dazed content and supported but not giving that same level of stability back.

It took one last awful phone call this morning after I desperately called her twice to voicemail and went home interrupting her online therapy appointment.

What a fool. I can't keep begging and ignoring her telling me she needs to go to better herself. I gotta listen and get professional help.