There is no fixing anything immediately the pain is fresh the hateful words I said are still in our minds. Yet I keep sinking lower and becoming more desperate.

I can't stop the regret and tears and she's getting colder and madder at having to explain herself.

I should have stopped drinking when she gave me the multiple chances I just couldn't keep my mouth shut and now that it's too late I still cant stop talking and asking the same thing over and over hoping for a different result. The only thing im causing is for her to be completely sure that I am not a man but a child who hasn't changed since the first time we broke up when we were 15.

We're 25 now and she's tired of going through this with me I hurt her deeply and now just because she's leaving me I'm supposed to expect her to care that in hurting deeply as well?

I just can't stop bothering her and wanting to hear from her and hoping to fix this but the only way I can fix anything is by leaving her alone and letting her go so she can figure out her own necessities and I can focus on my problems.