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After lurking for 6+ years, I'd like to give back to this community in the best way that I can.

And the best gift I can offer to you is my perspective of TRP's teachings through the lens of my struggles and experiences.

Calling it a gift is presumptuous I know, but It's the only thing I have that's completely unique to me.

And it's the most valuable thing I can give back to the community that's helped me so much these past 6 years. Upon reflecting on who I've become lately, I’ve recognized that none of this would have been possible without TRP. So, as long as these posts are valuable to at least one person, I can consider this a success.

The Start

David Goggins famously said, "You can be born in a fucking sewer and still be the baddest motherfucker on earth." I definitely wasn't born in a sewer, not even close. But I lived in the mental sewers for sure. I was aimless and ambitionless for so long that It became my norm, and that depressing reality became my standard way of living. And naturally, because of this, my dating life was also in the gutters. Even so, I still wanted to find a way to pick up hot girls and get laid just like every other guy my age (19 then). One day my friend showed me this subreddit after a long night out with no success, and from that day everything changed.

I know this sub is based on dating/life advice for success in the sexual marketplace, and at first, that's all I cared to read about. But in time, I discovered that the life advice, stories and guidance I got regarding every other aspect of my life was what I found the most valuable.

I recognized the benefits of reading more, putting yourself out there and really working on yourself. But not to get women, but to become a better, more fulfilled man. The women were just a pleasant side effect.

Once I improved myself for my own sake, suddenly all the dating and life advice here started to make sense.

The Realization

Believe me, I thought it was all bullshit at first. I was so desperate and lonely that I thought there was 0 CHANCE getting pussy wasn’t the sole reason these guys were jumping through all these hoops to improve. I thought it was all just an act. And for some, it may have been. But for most of the men who wrote those great posts that inspired me and many others, this was their reality.

And from this, the subreddit showed me the true value of self-improvement; becoming a better man inside and out. I've made a lot of progress, but I still have a ways to go. I'm nowhere near perfect, but a lot closer to the ideal man I once dreamt of becoming.

So the next step in my journey starts with sharing some of these stories and insights here every week. I long debated if I would ever be “qualified” to share anything useful here, but I realize that the self-doubt stopping me is just my inner pussy trying to be heard. I’m no professional writer, and I’m working on improving that each day. But I hope that through writing more, I can gain some additional insights and perspective on myself too.

That being said, I won't leave you empty-handed today, I'll pay my dues and give you something tangible that I know I would have appreciated 6 years ago. And that's a bit of hope.

Step 0: Hope

Your journey to becoming a better man in the current dating market won't be easy; this is given. Your path will not look the same as others, and it won’t take the same amount of time either. Even though our circumstances may seem unique, most of our problems are the same.

The mental barriers we put up that stop us from being better are the same.

The bullshit stories we tell ourselves to avoid getting hurt are the same.

And the self-doubt that tells us that we can't do any better also comes from the same place.

And that’s a place of hopelessness.

Without hope, you will crumble.

Hope that you can be a little better tomorrow. Hope that you can eventually find someone you love, who loves you back. Hope that you can finally get in good shape and feel confident enough to put yourself out there again. Hope that you can finally get that better-paying job so you can take care of your mother, so she can enjoy the rest of her days stress-free.

Without that little spark of hope, I truly believe that nothing of value can be achieved. That hope may look different from person to person and may come from different places too. But as long as it fuels you to become a better man, it's all the same.

Hope is what propels you forward when you feel like shit.

Hope gives you that little boost when you know what you need to do but don’t want to do so.

Hope is what helps give you that little bit of courage to cold approach that girl at the coffee shop that keeps looking at you.

Hope is the starting point for any journey worth a damn.

You hope for a better future not only for yourself but for your friends, family and your kids (if you want/ have them). This comes before the habits, before the discipline, before the studying and before the struggle. This is the true foundation needed for a successful self-improvement journey.

That being said, I hope this post, and the ones to come can spark some hope for you in your continuous struggle to improve.

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Thanks for taking the time to read this. Next week I want to share with you my sad declaration of change I posted years ago on a 4chan, what sparked hope in me and how I finally got things moving in a positive direction.

I want you to chase the gold standard of living that you've always dreamt of. Not because you want it, but because you deserve it.

Rome wasn't built in a day, and you won't be either.

I’ll see you next week.

-Natrillius Caesar