My Indian manager says that we should follow Indian values and respect and obey our parents. He has asked me to get married many times. He has also praised the Indian family system and said that US needs to learn from India. I just nod my head because I want to get promoted.

Indra Nooyi (former PepsiCo CEO) said in a conference that on the day she became CEO, she came to her home at 10 and her mother asked her to go and get some milk. She obediently followed her. These Indian/Asian managers are everywhere in tech, especially FAANG. They always keep on asking -"Are you married", "When are you getting married"," We are Asians. We respect our elders and meet them", "Who cooks for you?". These people are at very senior levels.

These old Indian managers keep on asking stupid questions to any Indian they meet like - 'Which city or town are you from in India' / 'What do your parents do?', 'Oh you are from this state! Are you a vegetarian?' 'Do you eat beef or pork?', 'What's your hometown?', 'What is his caste?'

Will they promote me if I share my identity (I am gay and Indian) and the fact that I dislike my parents and my culture? What if my father calls my manager and complains that I don't call him?

Actually I wish to butter my manager so that he promotes me really fast. I wish to play office politics for career growth. Is it okay to sacrifice some principles in return?

I feel buttering doesn't need energy - you just need to absorb abuse/ toxicity and say yes to everything or false praise. Go to managers' family parties and play with their kids, eat their food and praise it. Reality of performance and promotion at FAANG - "Wear a tika on forehead, impress your Desi boss, get promoted" or "Have a Ramen soup with chopsticks with Asian manager, impress him, get promoted". Actually I don't wish to work hard and wait ling. I wish to skip the career ladder steps and rise tot he top by using buttering / sucking up to management.