It's like my addiction is beating me and I'm lost!

R3dTul1p · 2023-07-24T02:33:07+00:00

If you are in the US, I highly recommend getting connected with a CSAT (Certified Sexual Addiction Counselor).

No program is perfect, but CSATs will get you plugged into an accountability community that can support you and allow you to come into contact with other men who are honest about their struggles.

You may feel ashamed/alone in this struggle--but my journey in recovery revealed that at LEAST 7/10 men in the church struggle to varying degrees with pornography and masturbation.

There are resources out there.

A Christian-based group you could check out are Pure Desire--they have both in-person and virtual group programs for recovery. I don't recommend going to them exclusively-- because in my experience addiction recovery is more successfully addressed in a clinical setting that is trauma informed. Pure Desire is peer-led so it won't offer the same type of treatment.

Very proud of you for addressing this at your age. I am in recovery myself and it is encouraging to see other single men who choose to deal with this before they enter into marriage (most of whom lie about the issue or avoid the topic entirely).

Good luck mate and hope you are able to navigate this journey. Trust me when I say that if you are brave enough to be vulnerable, you will be shocked at how many men (married or single) in your church that are struggling with this as well. The statistics are staggering.

Effective-Bicycle-54 · 2023-07-24T02:21:51+00:00

Worthiness is not flawlessness. Hypocrites deny their sins. Sincere followers of Christ acknowledge their sins and weaknesses. Your journey to recovery will not be a straight slope but with valleys and dips. Christ is quick to forgive if you confess and do your best to forsake. He sees weakness differently than rebellion.

Trust in that. Trust is your worth to him and that this is supposed to be fight. A hard fight but a fight you can win. Get someone who loves you to help you. Know that you are fighting Satan, his many followers and your own brain chemistry. Even with all that is arrayed against you, with His help you will triumph.

This community espouses seeing your weakness and owning it. You are not alone. We support you. We have faith in Christ. We have faith in your ability to overcome with His help.

I believe in Christ for His ability to help, heal and forgive He has manifested in my life. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. I have found great strength to stay and return to His ways in the Bible and Book of Mormon. I find Him in prayer to our Heavenly Father. Keep going. It may take years but the fight is worth it.

kaoticgirl · 2023-07-24T03:39:40+00:00

Stop beating yourself up for being human. You're fine.

Iyob · 2023-07-24T07:41:28+00:00

Man, this is so hard to explain properly, because I'm almost recovering from this same thing !

I simply cannot be told to not do X because Y said so, I need reasons. So for the last few months my interest in Semen Retention spiked, I would like to believe the Holy Spirit whispered this to me. This is a subreddit that has some unbiblical ties such as kundalini, chakras, monks, and whatever else - I ignored these things and kept reading their actual good posts. I then stumbled upon Pure Retention last week or so, this from my quick look through, is more towards the Bible and dropping those aspects in the former.

After PMOing I would notice my edge, aggression, energy, what have you, would be depleted until the next day. A brain fog would often settle. I loathed this the most, because I need my energy, my thoughts to be clear, the innate masculinity to function. I would also notice a pattern someone pointed out in the subs, where bad things would "coincidentally" happen either within a few minutes to a few hours.

So ! For the past three weeks I went on a cycle, I wouldn't masturbate for two days, and fail the third, repeat until last Friday. On days one, nothing would happen, I would be in a "recovery" phase. On days two, I would explain it as my spirit man is being awaken. I would begin pray infrequently, I was surrounding myself with Bible teachings and preachers. I actually prayed that my main distraction which are YouTube Shorts be infiltrated with teachers, and within the next days or so, it happened. Without having any related videos in my search or watch history. I was often listening to worship music too, basically submerging myself, constantly remembering, "faith comes by hearing."

On the rare occasion that I would make it to day three in my initial phases, my spirit man was awake, and he wanted it all. My prayers went from infrequently to quite often, to praying for others, to seeing how lively it is to live like this, constantly surrounded by gospel music and shorts, how I began to saw my childlike self from so many years ago. To being moved so easily to tears by holiness. I noticed my attitude change, and people were being nicer. Some of my prayers actually began to get answered !

I then peaked at porn, the first time nothing happened as it did weeks prior, I quit, then peaked for longer to keep testing, and fell into temptation, then the downfall. After failing on the third day, last Friday, I kind of went into a calm rage, a frustration in my head, because I knew it would take at least two days to begin to feel alive again. So I threw it all out, the toys that I was holding onto, and wanted to delete my porn account on Reddit, but just learned I couldn't do that on mobile.

As I'm about to enter day four or five, at this moment, I can say I do not want to drop this and fumble. The energy, the Holy Spirit that I think I'm communicating with and that is changing my mind is too great. My aggression that I've longed for is there, the fight to keep going.

What really helped me was listening to David Diga Hernandez shorts, a lot of them. He constantly iterates how the Holy Spirit doesn't abandon you when you sin. He goes over so many helpful things that guided me correctly on this path to curb the shame, unworthiness, any of the lies the enemy wants to plant into your head. God knows we're infallible humans, and we know it too. With his mercy and grace on us constantly, we can easily overcome anything. God wants you to live more than he wants to see one of his children die. He's fighting for you. Even if you don't think you can, you don't have to do it alone because He will fight for you and provide the strength to keep going.

I firmly believe that mans' seed is probably the first God given gift we ever receive. It offers so much towards your mentality, your body, and spiritually, that somehow we got told "scientifically we should masturbate at least X times a month to avoid prostate cancer," and believed it.

I think that since you want to change this bad habit of yours, you're on the right path to experience His holiness to envelop you soon. It's okay to fail the first few tries, it took me three (3) weeks to get to this point with the same mentality as you have now. Remember to think, tomorrow is always a new day, you can start fresh, He is with you on this journey.

Surround yourself with His word, it doesn't have to be reading the Bible just yet. It can be through videos, music, giving him praise, listening to other preachers.

If you have any questions or want some decent posts from the above communities, you can always message me and I will help you as best as possible.

Not falling into sexual sin for the first time in ~15 years feels amazing. Even when I'm just shy of a week of completion. I did try this before, and my longest was ~12 days, but I was on my own, and never experienced it quite like this before, the key is to keep God with you every step of the way.

redarcher99 · 2023-07-24T02:53:10+00:00

Know you can be forgiven: Romans 8:1-2 NIV - Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, 2 because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.
Get some help - software (e.g covenant eyes) and people.

sayofelix · 2023-07-24T05:32:02+00:00

I have no “piece of advice” to offer you, there is nothing I can do to help you, yet I wish you good luck in slaying this dragon you struggle with.

A couple questions you should ask yourself, is it a lust issue, in which case pornography and masturbation are wrong ways to channel those normal and god-given desires, the right way being marriage, and thus having the opportunity (to use it the right way) by getting married would be a fix? Or is it a lust issue, in which case you have been taken over by your desires and they have become more debased and depraved and are leading you to near irredeemable lengths? For that I know no remedy but I’m sure you could find a lot of material to help you. Once again, Goodluck!

The only thing I know for certain is you are not worthy. Even if you slayed your dragon completely and were the most pious of Saints you would not be worthy. Do not beat yourself up over that, grace abounds.

Title	It's like my addiction is beating me and I'm lost!
Author	jrjo33302
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	July 23, 2023 10:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RPChristians
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RPChristians/comments/157syum/its_like_my_addiction_is_beating_me_and_im_lost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RPChristians/its-like-my-addiction-is-beating-me-and-im-lost.1226281 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226281

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